Hugi.is - Notendur

Hokkí í sjónvarpi(íslensku!) (12 álit)

í Hokkí fyrir 22 árum

Ég sendi inn á korkanna spurningu um hvar ég gæti séð hokkí sjónvarpi hérna á Ísland og fékk þau svör að það væri hægt að sjá það á Canal+. Ég hef ávalt verið hrifinn af hokkí þau ég sé ekki mikill skautamaður sjálfur en hef því meira horft á þegar mér hefur gefist kostur á því, t.d. á Olympíuleikum. Eins og staðan er í dag þá eru ekki burðugar sjónvarpstöðvarnar hérna á klakanum þar sem sjónvarpið er haldið heljagreipum fjárlaganna og Norðurljós eru í mikilli skuldasúpu. Ég sá að skjár 1 er...

Who am I (4 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 22 árum

Who am I? I'M ABOUT 8 INCHES LONG. MY FUNCTIONING IS ENJOYED BY MEMBERS OF BOTH SEXES. I'M USUALLY FOUND HUNG, DANGLING LOOSELY, READY FOR INSTANT ACTION. I BOAST A CLUMP OF LITTLE HAIRY THINGS AT ONE END AND SMALL HOLE AT THE OTHER. IN USE, I'M INSERTED, ALMOST ALWAYS WILLINGLY, SOMETIMES SLOWLY, SOMETIMES QUICKLY, INTO A WARM, FLESHY, MOIST OPENING. THERE I'M THRUST IN AND DRAWN OUT AGAIN AND AGAIN MANY TIMES IN SUCCESSION, OFTEN QUICKLY AND ACCOMPANIED BY SQUIRMING BODILY MOVEMENTS....

How to Shower (2 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 22 árum

How To Shower Like A Woman: 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat. 4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, arm-cloth, leg-cloth, long loofah,...

Hokkí í sjónvarpi (3 álit)

í Hokkí fyrir 22 árum

Hvar getur maður séð hokkí í sjónvarpi hérna á íslandi, þarf maður að vera með útlenskar stöðvar eða sýnir einhver af okkar stöðvum þessa íþrótt? Kv. Halli25

Mac á huga.is (4 álit)

í Apple fyrir 22 árum

Hvernig er það með makkann, er hann ekki að meika það hérna á huga. Félagi minn er með makka og hann getur ekki skoðað huga. Ef einhver veit hvað gæti verið að endilega póstið því hérna. Ómögulegt að láta manninn vera án huga;) Kv. Halli25

YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH THE MATH (11 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 22 árum

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife: Dear Wife: You must realize that you are 54-years-old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. -Your Husband When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting...

Frábær síða (0 álit)

í Háhraði fyrir 22 árum

Fann <a href="http://www.skeeva.com/">þessa síðu </a>á netinu og það er ýmislegt sniðugt á henni, Neo. Kv. Halli25

Can't find the server (10 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 22 árum

Þið vitið líklega hve óþolandi það er þegar þið fáið upp síðuna sem segir að sambandið sé ekki upp við serverinn eða að rangt url hafi verið slegið inn, <a href="http://www.skeeva.com/tpcbd/">hér</a> er síða sem breytir viðhorfi ykkar líklega henni. Kv. Halli25

Simpson fjöslkyldan fer til brasilíu (31 álit)

í Teiknimyndir fyrir 22 árum

Sá þetta á mbl.is —————— Brasilíumenn stefna Bart Simpson Stjórnvöld í Brasilíu undirbúa nú málssókn á hendur framleiðanda sjónvarpsþáttanna um Simpson-fjölskylduna. Eru Brasilíumenn æfir vegna nýlegs þáttar í þáttaröðinni og segja hann hafa svert ímynd borgarinar Ríó de Janiero. … sjá meira á <a href="http://www.mbl.is/mm/frettir/show_framed_news?cid=100&nid=794348“>mbl.is</a> —————— Brasilía hefur víst lagt fram þó nokkurn pening í að koma ferðamannaiðnaðnum í Brasilíu á framfæri og telja...

Vagina (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 22 árum

“Dad,what does a vagina look like before sex?”. “well son,a pink rose with lovely soft petals and a perfumed aroma!”. “and after sex ,dad?”. “ever seen a bulldog eat mayonnaise son?”. Kv. Halli25

Vegaxlir (0 álit)

í Deiglan fyrir 22 árum

Ég er nokkuð mikið á ferðinni yfir Hellisheiði og þar vill koma fyrir að sé þoka og blint. Eins og eðlilegt er þá hægist á allri umferð við þær aðstæður en oft fer það þannig að ekki fara allir á sama hraða og aðrir, sem er allt í lagi nema hvað ekki er hægt að taka framúr þeim sem vilja silast á 50 eða hægar(fer eftir skyggni) þar sem ekki er hægt að hætta á það. hvernær ætla Íslendingar að læra að nota þessar vegaxlir rétt? Flest allir atvinnuökumenn eru með þetta á hreinu en þeir eru ekki...

30 Years Difference (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 22 árum

1972: Long hair 2002: Longing for hair 1972: The perfect high 2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund 1972: KEG 2002: EKG 1972: Acid rock 2002: Acid reflux 1972: Moving to California because it's cool 2002: Moving to California because it's warm 1972: Growing pot 2002: Growing pot belly 1972: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor 2002: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor 1972: Seeds and stems 2002: Roughage 1972: Popping pills, smoking joints 2002: Popping joints...

51 Fun Things To do at Wal Mart (mjög langt) (2 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 22 árum

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals throughout the store. 4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in. 5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners. 6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. 7. Leave “interesting”...

5 Jokes For Around The Office (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 22 árum

**Number five A man bumps into a Woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, “Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.” She replies, “If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.” ** Number four A businessman boards a flight & is seated next to a gorgeous woman. He notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies,...

Two Assholes (1 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 22 árum

Subject: Bubba and his 2 A H's Bubba died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad and the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer were sent for. Daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Daryl said, “Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over.” So the mortician rolled him over and Daryl looked and said, “Nope, ain't Bubba.”The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at him...

Lost at sea! (3 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 22 árum

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95. Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees the South to avoid a collision. Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees the North to avoid a collision. Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision....

Go-Go Dancing (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 22 árum

Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the club house to take care of the bill. The three men started talking and bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, “My son is a home builder, and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free.” The second man said, “My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend a new Mercedes, fully loaded.” The third...

Golf Balls (Stuttur en góður) (4 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 22 árum

A man entered the bus, with both of his front pant pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to a blonde. The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, “It's golf balls.” The blond continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally asked, “Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?”