-Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives
-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
-Aliens do exist, they're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack
-When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women
-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried
-Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did
-Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris
-Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs
-On the 7th day, God rested…. Chuck Norris took over
-One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter
-Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father
-Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it
-Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
-If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list
-Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany
- Switzerland isn't really neutral. They just haven't figured out what side Chuck Norris is on yet
-Bullets dodge Chuck Norris
-Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident
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