Þessi stutta og reyndar tilgangslausa saga var skrifuð núna á hálfum mánuði, með það til athugunar að ég skrifaði ekki meira en sirka 2-3 síður á dag.
Ég byrjaði upphaflega að skrifa 40 blaðsíðna sögu sem heitir The Chronicles of Azmodan, vampíru/gothic/ástarsaga, önnur frekar tilgangslaus saga sem byggir mest á lífsreynslum mínum.
Demented er líka byggð að hluta til á mínum reynslum og eru þær einu ástæður fyrir því að ég skrifa yfir höfuð, það er ótrúlegt hvað hægt er að gera úr manns eigin lífi.

Ég titla mig engan vegin sem einhvern “rithöfund” eða eitthvað þannig og ég vill að þú sem ert að lesa áttir þig á því að þetta er ekkert annað en hugsanir mínar og dund.
Ég er búinn að brjóta þetta niður í einn langan texta því að það er frekar erfitt að koma með kaflaskiptingar og blaðsíðutöl í einni grein…

Ef ykkur leiðist, sitjið ein heima og vitið ekkert hvað á að gera með ykkur þá endilega lesið þetta… það ætti ekki að taka meira en svona 20-30min enda er þetta nú bara 23 síður.

A.F.V.



“His eyes were opened…
He knew now what to do…”

d e m e n t e d


Day 1
S u n d a y

He walked slowly over the dance floor looking for something that even he, himself did not know what was. It came back to him in a flash, now he remembered, he was looking for her.
He didn’t quite understand what he was doing there in the first place. This was not him, he didn’t enjoy these kind of places and he definitely not danced unless he was forced to.
He came with her.
The one woman in the group that really made a difference to him.
He loved her, or at least he thought he did. But he knew that she had no interest what-so-ever in him. He knew however that she was not on his level; he couldn’t have her, he could never have Eve.
The band that was playing for the crowd of dancing fools was some kind of new lameness in bad music. Ambrose cared for music but the shit he sometimes had to put up with was horrible. Music was not what it used to be, it used to be about something… passion, love, it meant something but now all that mattered was that the musicians were handsome enough to win the hearts of young girls, they were called fans. Music was as good as dead, there was nothing now that stood up from the rest, it was all just the same thing all again and again.

He saw her dancing there with one of her friends and boy did they blend in with the rest, just as arrogant and foolish.
He knew her friend also, and liked her none the less than he liked Eve. She was tall for a woman, not like Eve who was a rather small creature.
Ambrose walked over to them and smiled. He joined in the dance and did not even try to speak, the music was too loud to hear anything anyway.
Eve had green eyes and long black hair. She was slim and very neatly built. He watched her dance slowly in the chaos her body moving in waves of pure beauty. But after all Ambrose knew that Eve had nothing more than that… she was beautiful but nothing else.
Ambrose walked back and decided to sit down, if he had stayed there any longer he would have gone mad. He slowly pulled a pack of Lucky Strike from his shirt pocket and lit one.
He thought long and hard and took a careful look at his hands, and realised not for the first time that they where older than him. He was only eighteen and his hands looked ages old. He was a pianist, never appreciated tough, he had been told that he wrote much to complex songs for the common listener. Ambrose didn’t mind, he liked his music and Eve liked his music, or at least she said she did. He looked at his cigarette grinning, this was not him. He was drunken and defeated by loneliness.
Why wouldn’t she love him?
“Can I sit here?” called a female voice in front of him.
Ambrose looked slowly up at the girl that stood before him.
She was different… she differed from the crowd of ignorant false people that he was used to hang around with.
Ambrose nodded and looked at her long and thoughtful.
She was beautiful. She wasn’t beautiful in the way Eve was beautiful but she had a charm about her. She was so womanly and there was something about her nose that Ambrose loved… he didn’t even know why himself. She lit a cigarette and looked smiling at him.
“Are you one of those guy’s that just sit and think at these places?” she asked him still smiling.
Ambrose leaned towards her and nodded smiling a fake smile. Why was she sitting with him. There were enough guys in the place to go to, but she came to him.
“So, are you in college or something?” she asked and smoked her cigarette.
-“Yeah and you?”
“No I’m…” she paused “I am not in any school” she then continued and smiled
embarrassed.
Ambrose nodded slowly and smiled.
“How old are you?” she asked.
-“Eighteen, how about you?”
“Me too” she answered, now looking excited.
Ambrose felt someone touch his shoulder and it was Eve’s friend.
“Have you seen Eve?”.
-“No, not lately” Ambrose answered.
She nodded and walked past him.
Ambrose turned to the girl, but she was gone.
He looked out for her but she had disappeared just as mysteriously as she had appeared.
Why did she come to him? This question flew through his head again and again.
Ambrose was not what you called a handsome man. He was rather fat with long dark hair and a grim look.
He had been used before by women and he had given up his search for “the one”. But his heart was young and young hearts break and mend easily.
Looking up from his deep dark thoughts Ambrose saw Eve standing opposite the table smiling at him, he hated when she did that. He knew that it meant nothing at all and she was just using him for the night.
Then like usually she tipped off like the little creature she was. Ambrose stood slowly up taking a sip of his beer and started walking slowly to the dance floor.
“Good night and thank you” the singer stated as Ambrose was getting near his group.
Like a hand was waved all of the drunken teens rushed off the dance floor and before Ambrose knew it he stood there alone, like always.
He looked around himself and he could just catch a glimpse of Eve running outside with some guy.
No tears ran for her… though he loved her, this was just the way things were. Ambrose walked slowly to the exit thinking what he was doing wrong. Inside he knew that he was no good for her but still couldn’t she see what he had to offer her? He could offer her so much more than the guys that got to go home with her. He wouldn’t leave he’d always be around. If she only gave him a chance.
“Hi” that beautiful voice from before said and broke Ambrose’s wonderings.
There she stood just like before… only more beautiful.
Ambrose froze and couldn’t get a word out just smiled and nodded. She smiled back but then stepped into a car and drove off.
Again she was gone and Ambrose didn’t get a chance to even ask her for her name. Ambrose realised what he had done and sadly picked up his mobile phone and called for a cab.
Everyone around him were screaming out in joy, they were going to parties and bars but Ambrose was going home. His phone rang but he didn’t notice… he was to deep sunken in thought he didn’t answer until people were starting to look at him strangely.
“What the fuck? I thought you weren’t going to answer the phone, bitch” screamed a male voice from the phone into Ambrose’s ear.
-“Sorry Aaron I was just…” Ambrose replied still deep in thought.
“Yea, yea hey there’s a party at Colin’s ill pick you up were the fuck are you”.
Ambrose thought for awhile but then realised that he had nothing better to do and since he was dead drunk he could as well go.
“You know where I am…” Ambrose stated.
“Ohh yea I forgot… be there in 3mins and don’t you go anywhere” Aaron said laughing and hung up.
It was better than going home alone, at least.
After everyone was gone Aaron appeared finally in an old Citroen. Ambrose jumped in the back seat and greeted him and Iris, Aaron’s girlfriend.
“How are you?” Iris asked with her usual worried look.
“Could be better…” Ambrose stated and took a sip of vodka that he had in his pocket.

Colin’s house was all lit up and alive. From the windows of the white house you could make out the sadness and disappointment of everyone inside. The house bore the sorrow of the faces of those who would go home alone tonight like all the other nights.
Aaron, Iris and Ambrose jumped out of the car and Aaron ran to the rear of the car to get his brew from the trunk. Ambrose stood looking closely at him wondering what Aaron had that he didn’t. Iris loved him or at least it looked that way and Ambrose believed that they were happy but sometimes you could see a sign of bitterness on Aaron’s face. Sometimes Aaron looked like he was truly alone despite of all that he had that Ambrose had lost; a girlfriend, more friends than he needed, and money. Aaron had a life.
Ambrose had that too one time but a certain woman had taken that all away from him. “Love is blind”, Ambrose used to say when it was over but he really thought he loved Eve and what about the girl from the ball…?
Ambrose woke up from his thoughts to find Aaron standing in front of him looking at him strangely.
“Are you sure you’re alright buddy?” Aaron said looking worried which was not usual for him.
-“Of course I am… what’s up with you?” Ambrose replied lifting one eyebrow and smiling at Aaron.
“Yea..” Aaron said and smiled back and then took Ambrose into the sorrowful house.
Ambrose took his old shoes of and took his vodka from the pocket on his leather jacket. Aaron and Iris were already inside and Ambrose knew that even now Aaron would be drinking heavily.
He walked slowly into the kitchen and opened the fridge and grabbed some orange juice. He closed it slowly and only then did he notice that he was not alone in the kitchen. The girl from the ball was sitting on the kitchen table.
“Well, we meet again” she said slowly and grinning.
-“Yes and somehow I am not surprised, I am sorry I didn’t catch your name back at the ball?” Ambrose replied.
-“I didn’t tell you…” the girl said laughing.
“Well then… maybe you would be so kind as to share it with me” Ambrose continued while he was pouring his vodka into a glass.
-“I am Dawn”.
“Dawn… beautiful”, he said and smiled to her and took great notice to how she blushed, “I am..”.
-“Ambrose… I know” Dawn stated.
“I see and how do you know that?”.
Suddenly there was a yelling sound from the living room, followed by Aaron’s voice.
“Ambrose get your but in here what the hell are you doing in there anyway?”.
Ambrose smiled at Dawn and walked down the hall and into the living room, he looked at Aaron were he sat drinking beer like water.
“Ill be right back… I’m in the middle of a conversation here” Ambrose said and started walking back into the kitchen.
“Now where were we?” Ambrose asked when he got in, but Dawn was nowhere to be seen.
Ambrose damned the world and walked back into the living room.
“Hey Aaron have you seen a blonde beautiful girl walk past here? In black?” Ambrose asked looking around himself.
“What? No what’s her name?” Aaron asked back.
“Dawn…” Ambrose said now looking at him.
“Don’t know her… hey Colin do you know any girl named Dawn?” Aaron screamed over the room.
Colin looked up from the CD-player and shook his head.
“Maybe she came with someone… I dunno” Colin suggested.
“Fuck this” Ambrose said angrily and sat down beside Iris.
Ambrose didn’t quite understand what this was all about. Who was Dawn and where did she come from? It would be typical if she was just one of Colin’s friends and he just was to drunk to figure it.
Ambrose woke up from his thoughts when Aaron gave him a nudge. Ambrose looked slowly into Aaron’s face but Aaron’s attention was on something else. Ambrose looked forward and there he saw her, with her new boyfriend the same guy that had stolen everything from him. She walked slowly into the living room and Ambrose looked slowly but surely away from her. What was SHE doing here? Of all the people in the world what business had she there.
Aaron looked at Ambrose with a kind of a sorry look on his face. This was indeed the girl that had betrayed him time after time. Not only had she used him but also lied about him to his friends and then she began going out with Ambrose’s best friend and now they were here together. Ambrose suddenly felt a heavy headache coming and he turned away from Aaron to think for a while.
Ambrose had met her through Colin and not long after she had first seen him she had fallen deeply in love with him or so he thought.
Ambrose did everything she wanted but got nothing but lies. She sat down beside him and looked deeply into his eyes like she used to do when he had loved her.
Ambrose knew now however that she had never loved him, but he had always carried a soft spot for her.
“What are you doing here?” Ambrose asked rather annoyed and shaken by his headache.
-“What is wrong with you?”.
Ambrose smiled and laughed a dead laughter.
-“I do not want to be your enemy, Ambrose”.
“Well then tell me what it was that I did to deserve this?” Ambrose answered harshly.
-“This is getting us nowhere”.
“Just leave me alone”.
She looked sadly into his eyes.
“What have you become? You are just cold…cold and sad.” she asked as she stood up.
Ambrose laughed madly and stood up.
“Am I cold? Huh? …hey everyone,” he said standing up, “what did I do to deserve this? Am I really that ugly that no one will love me? …won’t somebody love me? …I need to be loved!”.
Ambrose said and looked around himself, the room was all of a sudden silent and all the curious eyes were upon him. He realised what he had just said and rushed outside.
The cold winter wind embraced him and he walked home, alone.
His headache was gone at least, but he knew that his scene over at the party would not be forgotten soon.
A drunk wandered aimlessly in his direction. A filthy old man… probably, even he once had a wife and children, maybe even a good job.
Ambrose could see himself in the face of the drunk. Even the smell of cheap alcohol reminded Ambrose of himself. He was no better than him that wandered the streets at night time, looking for some comfort in the dark.
He was just like Ambrose, in a way.
He knew that he was just feeling sorry for himself… just self pity and boy did it bother him. His motto had always been “no regrets” but now even he found it hard to live up to that.

The wind blew through Ambrose’s long hair and it floated peacefully in the cool air, moving in waves of requiem.
“All alone…no one cares” Ambrose stuttered as he approached his home and he couldn’t wait just to find his apartment empty, as usual.



Day 2
M o n d a y

Ambrose awoke by the sound of children playing outside his window.
The curse of being the only one sleeping at 2pm on a Monday.
He opened his eyes slowly trying not to be blinded by the hateful sun that shone outside.
The phone would ring any minute now when Aaron would ask him what happened last night. Ambrose waited and lit a cigarette as he sat up in his filthy bed. When he had decided that the phone would not ring like it usually did he put his jeans and white t-shirt on slowly still trying to wake up. His hang over was killing him faster then the cigarettes were so he rushed into the bathroom and looked desperately for painkillers. Taking a shower looked so far away and he wasn’t going anywhere so he went straight for the kitchen and grabbed leftovers from Saturday’s dinner.

The phone rang loudly and violently, screaming at Ambrose to answer it. Ambrose woke up with his “breakfast” all over his couch. He looked at the clock on his VCR and cursed himself… it was 9pm.
“Yes…” Ambrose said slowly and sleepily into the phone.
“Its time man… the movie is in half an hour I’m coming to get you now as we speak” Aaron stated on the other end
Ambrose woke up in a flash and remembered, they were showing The Thing on a horror fest in town.
“Yea Ill be out in a moment” Ambrose said and hung up.
Ambrose sat up and rubbed his eyes, then cleaned up his mess in a hurry. He changed his tee-shirt and got his leather jacket and hurried out.
Aaron’s car was already outside waiting for him. Ambrose stepped into the car and only when he was about to greet Aaron he noticed that he was on the phone. He was clearly talking to Iris because he seemed annoyed about something and Ambrose knew that Iris did not like horror movies and she had planned something special for Aaron that night. Clearly Aaron had forgotten to tell her about that he was going out. They where about half way to the theatre when Aaron finally hung up.
“Damn it… always something with her” Aaron moaned.
-“Yup”.
“Ohh yea what happened to you last night? …you made quite a scene” Aaron asked trying to be as gentle as he could.
Ambrose had not been himself lately, sinking deeper and deeper into depression, that was why Aaron was taking him out trying desperately to lighten his mood.
-“Aggh that damned bitch… just kind of lost it back there… I am sorry” Ambrose said trying to look as cheerful as he could.
“You know Ill never understand why you left her… she was alright man” Aaron said quietly.
Ambrose looked strangely at and angrily at Aaron. What did he mean that he had left her…? She left him!
-“What? …have you forgotten that she cheated on me?” Ambrose asked rather harshly.
“Huh? Cheated on you? That’s not what I heard! Iris told me that you just stopped talking to her and she never knew why…” Aaron stated.
-“Of course I stopped talking to her when I found out that she had been with James… you remember him don’t you?” Ambrose answered.
“I’ve never heard that she cheated on you… heck I remember James you stopped talking to him too… but they only met a few days ago at a party Iris went to… she said that it sure looked like they had never seen each other before” Aaron said.
-“Well believe me they knew each other I mean it’s been seven months since I last talked to them and that was when Dave told me he had seen them together”.
“Who’s Dave?” Aaron asked confused.
-“What is up your ass man? Dave has been in every party and has been hanging out at my place with us for more than a year now…” Ambrose answerd annoyed.
“Ok whatever… I still don’t have a clue about who you’re talking about” Aaron said and parked the car.
“Iris has told me that she really misses you and that she really wants to see you again. Did you know that she was very depressed after your thing at the party? James even swore that he would get back at you. She cried the whole night at his side talking about what she had done to you and all..”.
-“Aren’t you supposed to supporting me in this matter? What is it with you tonight?” Ambrose asked angry.
“Fuck it, all that I know is that she loved you and you stopped talking to her…” Aaron stated as he stepped out of the car.
-“Yea well that’s bull shit… she never loved me… she made me think she loved me but she never did… she never loved me…” Ambrose said quietly to himself and stepped out of the car.

The credits slowly rolled across the black screen in the theatre, followed by a cheesy song. Ambrose slowly stood up and reached for his pack of cigarettes.
“It never fails huh?” Aaron asked smiling as he stood up.
“Nope” Ambrose said and started walking for the exit.
The theatre was full of kids that didn’t understand the movie… in between you could see someone on Ambrose’s age followed by 14-15 year old girls. Ambrose hated those teens that called themselves “horror fans” but laughed at every chance to fight
their fears.
Aaron was trying hopelessly to hide his anger towards Iris. He never got a chance anymore to go out with the guys unless having her beside him. This troubled not only Aaron because Ambrose and him had been quite distant since Aaron and Iris started going out.
Ambrose stepped outside and waited for Aaron who had gone to buy himself something to drink. Snow flowed silently through the air in perfect harmony with the slow wind. The town was lit up like old paper in flames or at least it looked like that to Ambrose… maybe it was the alcohol.
Aaron rushed outside and started walking straight for the car. Ambrose was not a sensitive to the cold as Aaron so he came walking slowly behind him enjoying the beauty of the winter.
“Well now its time to make peace with her” Aaron said as Ambrose stepped into the car.
-“Yea… I guess it’s the TV and a drink for me” Ambrose replied trying to find the seat belt.



Day 3
T u e s d a y

It was night time and Ambrose was walking alone in the town centre.
The streets were as empty as his bottle of vodka.
This was how he liked it, quiet and calm like a tomb. If he was not to have someone to hold him on these cold nights, then this was what he liked the most. He often wandered old cemeteries in search for peace… that was all he wanted looking at the fact that he had not slept well in a long time, haunted by nightmares and restlessness. But no matter how much he searched, there was no peace to be found. He never gave up hope though, despite the fact that he had given up his search for a honest girl to spend his nights with.
Ironic, he thought. But here he could think in peace from his comrades at least.
“What are you looking for?” a young girl said to him as he passed by.
-“Peace…” Ambrose answered and smiled to the girl as she ran into an alley.
“You wont find it” she called as she faded into the shadows.
Ambrose stalled.
After some thought he decided to follow her.
He walked into the alley and found nothing but a cold breeze and a bum.
“I sometimes wonder if you are following me…?” a womanly voice said softly as he was turning to walk back.
Behind him stood Dawn and the little girl on a doorstep that he had not noticed there before. Ambrose was confused and did not know what to say, he stood there like a fool, not getting one word up from his sore throat.
“I am just kidding” Dawn said and burst out in laughter.
-“I don’t even know how I ended up here but somehow I am not surprised to find you” Ambrose stated when he had finally caught up on the situation.
Dawn looked at him curiously and waited for him to say something.
-“Ehhm will you take a walk with me on this beautiful night?” Ambrose asked and smiled, lifting his hands up into the air.
“How do I know I can trust you?” Dawn asked smiling like a little girl.
-“Believe me… I wont do you no harm” Ambrose stated and lifted his right arm to his chest.
Dawn smiled and ran inside only to come right back with a sweater on. Ambrose smiled and started walking slowly out of the alley for her to run after him. They walked together to the sea were they raced each other to a bench that stood there on a cliff looking rather lonely, deserted.
“I’ve never been here before, its beautiful” Dawn stated.
-“Yes indeed… this is one of the places I go to think among other places like cemeteries”.
Dawn looked at Ambrose with a sad look on her face like Ambrose had said something he shouldn’t have.
-“What is wrong?” Ambrose asked looking surprised.
“My family died in a fire not long ago… you remind me of them, you talk like my father used to…” Dawn said slowly.
-“I am sorry… that was not my intention” Ambrose answered.
“Its alright… you didn’t know… its just that I have not visited their graves since the funeral… I’m afraid to go there” Dawn said and tried to smile though Ambrose could see that she was almost crying.
Ambrose looked deep into Dawn’s eyes and took her hand in his.
“Come… I will take you there… I promise that no harm will come to you” Ambrose said calmly and gently.
Dawn looked for a while in Ambrose’s eyes and sniffed. Ambrose smiled to her and dried the one tear that fell for him.
Ambrose stood up still holding her hand and asked her were they were buried.

The old gates to the cemetery sang in the slow wind, budging back and forth in a silent nocturne. The road before them was dark and Dawn was scared, but she kept Ambrose’s promise in mind.
The tombstones stood in lines, lonely and grey, weathered and old. Ambrose knew this cemetery well.
They walked there, hand in hand like two lost souls looking for salvation among the dead. The cool wind blew gently through their long hair and Ambrose felt something inside that he had not felt in such a long time. He looked at her sad face as they strolled between the old trees that cut the isles of graves apart. She was indeed beautiful, more beautiful than any woman he knew. Her blonde hair sang in the wind and Ambrose knew that this song was meant for him alone.
After walking back and forth Dawn gave up her search for her parents graves but because of Ambrose’s talk she was in a much better mood and was even starting to smile again.
“Tell me now, how do you feel?” Dawn asked and looked at him biting her upper lip in an innocent and cute way.
Ambrose stopped and looked her in the eyes and smiled and then kept on walking.
-“Well I surely enjoy having you beside me… I have not felt so good in a long time I must say. These couple of months I have been quite down I am afraid” Ambrose answered looking ahead of himself concentrated.
She nodded and kept on walking.
Ambrose looked quickly at her and then decided again to speak.
-“Why do you ask?”
Dawn smiled and said nothing, just smiled and kept on walking.
Ambrose took up a cigarette and lit it as soon as they were out of the cemetery. She looked at him and he offered her one but she shook her head and waited for him.
“So you’ve not seen the whole town have you?” Ambrose asked trying desperately to fins something to say.
-“No… are you perhaps going to show it to me?” she asked back and smiled to him.
“Sure, I am in no hurry and as I said before I very much enjoy your company, what do you want to see?”
-“I don’t know… do you know about some beautiful places?”.
“Of course I do… I’ve lived here my whole life and have many a good memory connected to places here… Ill take you to the lake”.
Dawn smiled in approval.

The stars that lit up the sky, danced on the surface on the lake that Ambrose took her to. The wind had suddenly stopped blowing in approval to them leaving the cemetery.
Some birds had already started singing and soon the sun would take the place of the moon. Ambrose took her under a tree that balanced on the waterside.
This was the place that he had first bound himself to anyone, this was the place that he and his ex had begun their relationship. The tree had changed since Ambrose had been there last. It was older and looked wounded somehow.
Ambrose sat down heavily, still a little drunk and she sat gently down beside him. Dawn sat and looked aimlessly at the quiet water while Ambrose tried to remember what had happened there.
His memory was clouded it was like something was trying to stop him from remembering. He could only recollect bits and pieces… the rest was blank.
He remembered the last time he was there… the day when he found out about her being unfaithful. An argument but he couldn’t find the cause now. He remembered as he sat there looking at her, knowing her guilt and she tried to lie her way out of it. She said that he was crazy but he knew what she had done. He remembered that that was the day he stopped talking to her, that was all that mattered.
“What is the matter?” Dawn asked after a careful look at him
-“Ahh ghosts of the past are just haunting me… this place meant something to me a long time ago”.
“What happened?”
-“A girl… my girlfriend… this was the place that it started…” he said slowly “and ended”.
“I am sorry” Dawn said and looked him in the eyes.
Ambrose looked at her and then smiled and then moved his attention back to the water.
“This place is so peaceful…”.
-“Yes… like the other places I like… there is not much peace to be found anymore, so I treasure the ones I have left” Ambrose answered.
“The sun is coming up and I will have to go now” Dawn stated.
-“Watch the sunrise with me… please? It is the most beautiful thing I know of and I haven’t shared it with anyone for such a long time” Ambrose pleaded.

They watched the sunrise and then Ambrose walked her home.
-“I would very much like to see you again Dawn” Ambrose said as Dawn was walking up the stairs to her front door.
“Maybe we will meet again… I really enjoyed myself tonight… I will see you again, but I will find you next time” Dawn said and walked inside.
Ambrose walked slowly home, and for the first time for long he felt good.



Day 4
W e d n e s d a y

A gentle stroke on the cheek woke Ambrose up. He opened his eyes slowly and felt in surprise how sore his head was. It was night time again and Ambrose realised that he neither knew were or who was that figure in front of him.
“Were am I?” Ambrose asked slowly and tried to clear his throat.
-“At Aaron’s place” answered the figure, it was a girl.
Ambrose sat up and saw that he was in Aaron’s bed and heard clearly that there was a party going on outside the door.
“How did I get here?” Ambrose said and looked for his jacket.
-“You came here about 7 o’clock and fell asleep in here about an hour ago” she answered.
Ambrose gave up his search and looked at her.
“Forgive me, but could you tell me who you are and what the time is now?” Ambrose asked confused.
-“I am Lisa and the time is 1am sharp”.
“I see… do you by any chance have a cigarette?”.
Lisa turned from him and walked to the other side of the room and looked in a purse that was lying on a chair by the window. Shortly she came back to him and gave him a cigarette and lit herself one after lighting his.
“Thanks”.
Lisa nodded and crossed her arms and put her legs on the bed so they touched his thigh. She smiled at him and watched him smoke and think.
“You are a friend of Eve’s aren’t you?” Ambrose finally asked.
-“Yes indeed I am… how did you know?”.
“Just a wild guess I think”.
He lied… Eve had been toying with the idea of setting Ambrose up with a friend of hers and he knew it, it just so happened that she had been talking about a girl named Lisa.
Ambrose finished his cigarette and stood up ready to leave.
“Why aren’t you going to keep me company?” Lisa asked when she realised what he was doing.
-“I am sorry but I don’t need this right now… I have to clear something out” Ambrose answered.
She looked at him sadly and Ambrose knew how she felt. She was indeed a pretty girl, she had dark hair and blue eyes just like Ambrose liked, but Ambrose’s heart was set on something else.
He thanked her again and then walked outside only to find Eve standing by the door smiling at him.
“So how did it go?” she asked and laughed.
Ambrose took her wrist and led her to the bathroom.
-“Do not do this to me, don’t you understand you can’t just do this without letting me know about it… I had to hurt that girls feelings damn it” Ambrose answered her question.
“Damn it Ambrose I don’t understand you anymore… I thought you were lonely” Eve said annoyed.
Ambrose felt all that she had done to him flow through himself as she said that. That was just it, wasn’t it! She had never truly cared for him and neither these other fools. Ambrose looked at her and then his hatred overtook him and he slapped her in the face and started walking out.
“Hey man. Finally awake I see” Aaron said as he passed him in the hallway.
“Fuck you” Ambrose replied and rushed out.

Ambrose walked home and finally when he was inside he calmed down. The point as just that Eve had played with him for too long and he had just sitten there and let himself have it. Now he wouldn’t have to take it from her anymore.
Bits and pieces of what had happened earlier that day were coming back to him finally. He remembered having an argument with Aaron before at the party but not the reason. Must have been some of his usual whining.
He remembered waking up clearly enough, in the sofa and the first thing he did was to take a long bath. But then it was like he had fallen asleep because nothing came back to him between that and the argument.
Ambrose wasn’t tired and he figured that he had slept most of the evening away and all he wanted was to see Dawn again. There was something about her that made him loose himself. Suddenly his phone rang, screaming like a banshee and Ambrose ran to it to silence this unnatural sound.
“Yes?”.
-“Ambrose? Hi its me” said Dawn on the other side.
“Dawn? How did you get my home number?”.
-“Never mind that… I have my ways of getting what I want”.
“I see… so what’s up?” Ambrose begun the conversation and bit his upper lip in disapproval to what he just said.
-“Ehhm nothing really I was wondering if I could see you again tonight?” Dawn asked in a hurry.
“Yea sure, of course”.
-“I’ll be right there”.
“But…” she hung up and Ambrose was left speechless, “I didn’t even tell you were I live…”.

Ambrose looked around himself and saw the mess he was living in and started to make things look a little more like a home. Empty beer cans and vodka bottles on the floor along with cigarette packs and various other items. He figured the best solution was to just sweep it all behind the couch.
He ran into the bathroom and looked at himself. He looked ages old. Even his hands were older than the day before. He reminded himself of his father who Ambrose had left when he was fourteen and swore never to talk to him again. His father Arthur had beaten him from time to time and kept him looked up inside the cellar for days at a time. Ambrose still remembered how he screamed and struggled to be let out, but always the same story, his father went for a few days of heavy drinking and left him in there so there was no one to answer his calls. In between Arthur had been gentle to him but this never lasted for long.

Ambrose took his sweater of and looked at his chest which bore one single, ugly scar. He had forgotten how he even got it. He thought it was the day he went away but he was not sure. They had an argument like usually and when Arthur tried to drag him to the cellar when Ambrose took a broken beer bottle and tried to break free, that was all he could remember. That and running away drenched in blood, black blood.

The door bell rang loudly and Ambrose awoke from his thoughts to find himself standing naked in front of the mirror. He got dressed quickly and ran to the door and there she stood, more beautiful than ever.
Ambrose smiled and let her in. She was rather plainly dressed; in a short, black skirt and a white shirt. Her long blonde hair curled down her shoulders and landed gently on her breasts and her deep blue eyes shone out from her face.
She sat down on the sofa and Ambrose got her something to drink, water it was for her but Ambrose sneaked some vodka into his coffee. When he came back he could definitely see that there was something wrong. Dawn didn’t even look up when he came she just sat there and smoked a cigarette with her arms and legs crossed.
Ambrose handed her the glass and sat down beside her.
“What is wrong?”.
-“It is nothing… can I stay with you for the night?”.
Ambrose was surprised and speechless.
“Of course” he finally managed to spit out of himself.
Dawn smiled and finally relaxed a bit. She got comfortable and turned on the old TV that sat old and forgotten opposite the couch.
After a bit of watching TV Ambrose saw that Dawn was getting tired and decided to get her to bed.
He stood up and walked into his room and came back with a pillow and a blanket.
“I’ve set you up in my room and I am going to sleep here in the living room is that fine by you?”.
Dawn smiled, stood up and started walking to him. She laid her arms around his shoulders and kissed him.
Ambrose stood frozen and rather startled. After what seemed an eternity of bliss she bade him good night and walked into his room.
He stood there for a while thinking of what had just occurred. Then he turned in for the night thinking what that had meant, if it meant anything.

Ambrose rose from the couch and walked into the kitchen to get something to drink. It was still night and he looked into his room which to his surprise was empty and Dawn was nowhere to be seen. He walked into the room and found a big mirror lying on the bed which did certainly not belong to him.
He lifted it up and took a good look in it.
He saw himself but not as he was usually.
It was a darker self that he saw, one in a black robe drenched in black blood and underneath the hood he saw two glowing red eyes. The figure was floating in a sky like environment. Behind it were red clouds and a dark red sky and Ambrose heard screams of agony and torment.
The sounds of chains, laughter and screams filled his head and he was about to loose his mind when he saw just the reflection of himself in the mirror.
This was not him, but somehow it felt like him.
Then he saw Dave standing next to the figure speaking gibberish and rolling his eyes around the figure. Next there was a great red flash and Aaron and Iris sat together with the rest of his friends at Aaron’s place.
They were enjoying themselves, drinking and laughing.
Ambrose knew that they were laughing at him, they called him weak and foolish. Aaron even acted as Ambrose and beside him sat Eve and Iris laughing. Then suddenly they all looked up into Ambrose’s face with a look of guilt like Ambrose had done something terrible.
There was another flash and for a second they were all dead, all was covered in the black blood that Ambrose knew. And there was Dave again, blaming Ambrose for something.
“It’s you or them!”.

Ambrose awoke in a bath of sweat and tears.
He was confused but he heard movement coming from the bathroom and out stepped Dawn in a shirt that belonged to him.
To big for her, looked like a black dress.
“Awake finally” Dawn said and laughed while she dried her hair.
“What? What time is it and what day?” Ambrose asked not knowing exactly what had happened.
Dawn looked at him surprised.
“You really should stop drinking” she said and shook her head, “it is 3 o’clock, Thursday…”.



Day 5
T h u r s d a y

“You acted strangely last night Ambrose…” Dawn said as she handed him a cup of coffee and sat down beside him.
-“What? How?” Ambrose asked and rubbed his eyes wildly like something uninvited had gotten in there.
“You walked into your room and stood next to your bed screaming, talking gibberish… I saw you as I was coming back from the bathroom” Dawn explained.
-“Yes I am sorry… I had a nightmare, I think”.
“Its all right, you just startled me that’s all, here drink your coffee”.
Ambrose drank his coffee and then stood up and walked to the bathroom.
-“Do you need to go to the toilet? I’m going to take a bath…”.
“No you go ahead” Dawn answered busy watching the TV.

Ambrose took his clothes of and looked at himself in the mirror trying to recall what he had dreamed that night. He remembered little, just Aaron, Iris and the others making fun of him.
That was all that mattered.
He stepped into the tub and lied down, trying to relax.
What was this thing with Dawn now? Why was she acting like she lived there with him? All of the sudden it was like she had always been there and he hardly knew her.
He washed his hair and then quickly again got out of the tub.
Ambrose never liked that bathroom, there was this feeling of being watched in there and he would hear strange noises from there at nights.
It just so happened that the bathroom was positioned right beside Ambrose’s room so he could make out every sound that came from there. He would even hear whispering coming from there, but that he said was just his wild imagination.
Ambrose dried himself and brushed his hair, stepped out of the bathroom to get new clothes from his room. When he came there Dawn was waiting for him.
She laid her arms around him and took the wet towel from his waist.
He tried to speak but she kissed him and put her hand in his crotch. She stepped back and took his shirt of herself and lied down in the bed and pulled him with her. Ambrose locked his arms around her and kissed her throat and breasts repeatedly. She smiled and opened herself up to him.

“Hold me close in your arms, promise that you will never leave me” she said as they laid there looking in each others eyes.
-“I wont, I will never let you go, I promise” Ambrose replied and smiled to her.
Ambrose loved this the most. Just lying there not needing to say a word, just lying and looking in her eyes.
He had never felt better.
They drifted of to sleep and for the first time since he left home Ambrose slept well, no dreams, no nothing, just sleep.

Ambrose woke up to noises in the bathroom and his headache was back. He stood up all sweaty and confused.
Dawn was gone…
He quickly got dressed and ran to the living room looking madly for anything; painkillers, alcohol, something that would stop this torture. He couldn’t find his vodka and he started hearing whispers and the headache was turned into a feeling of being burned.
He felt like his head was on fire and suddenly he got a strange feeling like being watched.
The room got colder as his head got hotter.
The pain was unbearable.
He ran into the kitchen and there was his salvation; the bottle was by the sink. He ran to the sink grabbed the bottle and in the action he fell over and landed straight on the floor holding the bottle in one hand and his head with the other. He knocked the bung off and took a large sip spilling the alcohol all over himself.
His headache went away as mysteriously as it had begun. The noises died out in a whisper and Ambrose sat on the floor exhausted and trying to mend himself.

He looked at the clock and it was half past eight pm.
He had slept all the day and she had left him alone again.
The phone rang violently like usual. Ambrose took the receiver from the cradle.
“Yea”.
“Hey what the fuck is up with you man?” Aaron asked as soon as Ambrose answered.
Ambrose panicked and threw the receiver back on the cradle.
Somehow he knew that Aaron and the others were plotting something against him… he felt it. The phone rang again but Ambrose stood up, got his keys and ran outside into the cool evening.

The fresh winter air welcomed him as he stepped outside and so did Aaron.
He stood there with his cell phone in hand.
“Come on man what is the matter with you?” Aaron asked rather annoyed.
-“Just leave me alone right now”.
“What have you been doing all alone?”.
-“I have not been alone, why do you think that?” Ambrose answered and then his look changed.
-“That’s just it, I don’t need your sympathy! I know very well what you have been doing behind my back, Dave told me everything…” Ambrose yelled.
“Wha…? Who the hell is this Dave? I don’t know shit what you’re talking about”.
-“Yea… okay… just leave me alone, I don’t want to talk to you right now as you can understand” Ambrose answered.
“What? How the hell should I know? I don’t know what you are talking about”.
Ambrose walked quickly past him.
“Come back here man” Aaron screamed after him.

Ambrose found himself standing on the cliff that he and Dawn had gone to two days ago. He sat down on the bench and started at nothing. All he wanted was to see her again. She had released him from his condition, most importantly he could sleep when she was with him.
He was drawn back into reality by a girls arm touching his shoulder. He opened his eyes and there she was sitting right beside him looking over the ocean.
“Why did you leave me?” Ambrose said quietly.
-“I didn’t”.
“I was so lonely when you were gone”.
-“I am here”.
“Yes now everything is better now”.
-“Was something wrong?” she asked.
“I couldn’t eat… I couldn’t sleep anymore. Today when I was with you I slept well for the first time in such a long time… I need you with me”.
-“I’m not going anywhere”.
“Good”.

Ambrose awoke to the sound of birds. He was lying on the bench by the cliff and it was morning.
He looked around himself and all he saw was a couple of boys playing nearby. He had slept outside the whole night… it was Friday already.



Day 6
F r i d a y

He walked slowly home trying to remember what had happened last night.
He remembered the argument with Aaron but not much else.
Ambrose opened his front door and the first thing he heard was music coming from the living room. He took of his shoes and walked slowly in, not knowing what was waiting him.
There was Dawn sound asleep on the couch. She had forgotten to turn of the TV so he got her a blanket and turned off the TV.
He walked to the kitchen expecting to find a bottle of vodka by the sink but it was empty. His headache begun again and Ambrose rushed out to the store.
The snow cracked under Ambrose’s heavy feet and Christmas was in the air. Everywhere he looked there were green, red and blue lights flashing in his face, kids making snowmen and throwing snowballs.
He once made a snowman, with his mother while she was still alive. It had been around the same time ad now, a few days to Christmas eve.
This Christmas would be like the last few, rather lonely… Ambrose and a bottle of vodka and a party later on, maybe there wouldn’t even be a party this time, at least he knew that he would not be invited.
The headache was getting worse. It was like something was trying to break out of his head. Every loud noise was like a siren in his head and every light blinded him.
He rushed into the store and picked up a bottle of Smirnoff, paid and rushed back home were Dawn was waiting for him.
Ambrose ran inside without saying anything and poured himself a glass and sighed. Finally the headache was gone, and some kind of peace came over him.
He walked slowly into the living room were Dawn sat and watched a cartoon.
“Isn’t there someone who’ll start worrying about you?” Ambrose said as he threw himself on the couch beside her.
She didn’t answer him but kept on looking.
Ambrose looked at her for some time, waiting for an answer and then he finished his glass.
-“Where were you tonight?”.
“What?”.
-“You weren’t here last night”.
“What the hell? You’re acting like we are living together”.
Dawn sighed and shook her head.
She took the Smirnoff bottle from the table and Ambrose’s glass from his hands.
“What are you doing?” Ambrose said annoyed.
-“You’ve got to stop drinking his heavily”.
“Not you or anyone else will stop me from that, now give me the bottle”.
Dawn looked at him with sad eyes and then handed him the bottle.
Ambrose shook his head and drank. She stood up and took her jacket and walked out.
“Damn it” Ambrose said to himself and sighed.

The headache and noises were back when Ambrose woke up.
He ran to the bathroom to find out what was going on.
He heard something drip.
Stepping into the bathroom, the first thing he noticed was extreme cold and the air was filled with the smell of rotting flesh.
He heard whispers and soft laughter followed by moans and then silence, nothing.
For a second the bathroom was filled with black blood followed by a horrible scream that sounded demonic and yet human. Then again there was silence and Ambrose in shock ran out of the bathroom and sat down on the kitchen floor holding his hands on his ears, swaying back and forth. He cried for the first time since he lost his girlfriend. His head was exploding and he stood up shivering looking for the alcohol.
He found the bottle but little good did it do.
Ambrose ran outside and made his way as quickly as he could to the alley were he had met Dawn. He needed her now more than ever.
The cold alley greeted him and he felt how he was slowly beginning to get better as he walked on.
He came to where Dawn’s door had been but it was not like before. The apartment was empty and had been so for a long time. Inside he could see the remains of a home. The furnishing had clearly been untouched for a long time and the apartment in whole was completely empty and had clearly been in this state for some time.
“Can I help you?” an old woman asked from a window opposite the old apartment.
Ambrose shook his head repeatedly and then managed to get to his senses again.
-“Who lived there?” Ambrose said slowly as he was beginning to think rationally.
“Uhh there was a couple… the Thomson’s if I remember correctly. Ohh and a girl, sweetest thing. Named Lizabeth”.
Ambrose looked at the apartment and felt the cold coming from inside.
Just a few days ago Dawn had been standing right there talking to him and he knew that the apartment had not looked like that then. He had seen the inside it from the open door and it was like new.
He heard the old lady calling for him and then he fainted.



Day 7
S a t u r d a y

Ambrose woke up from the same nightmare as before.
He looked around himself trying to figure out where he was.
Ambrose was in a chamber of some sort. Grey walls that looked like had been drenched in water for some time. The wallpaper was falling off on some places and in the corner was a small dirty, old toilet.
A big steel door blocked his exit and all he could do was listen to the chains he heard outside the door.
He heard footsteps coming slowly towards the door and halted right in front of it. A small hatch on the door opened and an old man peered through. He grunted and Ambrose heard a key go into the lock and ten with some difficulty the door slowly opened with a horrible screech.
The old man dressed up in a police uniform walked in and looked carefully at Ambrose before he smiled and said that he was free to go. Ambrose still confused about what had happened walked out to a long hallway. They walked together until they got to a desk where another policeman was sitting and he handed Ambrose his jacket and wallet and made him sign some papers. Ambrose then understood what he was doing there. He had been taken after he fainted and brought here to sleep, little do they know that they had done nothing to help him.
Ambrose stepped outside the police station where Aaron was waiting for him in his car. Ambrose sighed but decided to go with him.
“Hey” Ambrose said as he stepped into the car.
-“Hi… I’m not even going to talk about what has been going on” Aaron exclaimed.
“Thanks”.
“No problem man” Aaron said and drove off.

Aaron drove Ambrose straight home and Ambrose did not mention anything of Dawn to him of course, he thought it was the alcohol.
“There’s a party at my place tomorrow night, my parents are going out of town for the weekend” Aaron said and smiled before he drove off.
Ambrose smiled back but knew that he would not go, he did not trust Aaron after the things he knew about him and the others.
Ambrose threw himself in bed and thought.
What was happening to him? Was he seeing things? It could not be… it was just a misunderstanding of some sort he had gone to the wrong place, it had to be.
Ambrose picked up the phone and decided to call Iris.
“Hello”.
-“Yea, hi its me” Ambrose said as she answered.
“Hi Ambrose… how are you?”.
-“Never mind that I need to know something. Do you know any girl named Dawn?”.
“Ehhm ok… no I don’t recall any Dawn”.
-“Are you sure, this is realy important… she was at Colin’s party this week”.
“Can you at least tell me how she looks?”.
-“She has blue eyes, blonde hair… ehm beautiful nose?”.
“Beautiful nose? Are you all right Ambrose?”.
-“Yes damn it, do you know her?”.
“Don’t think I’ve ever seen her…”.
Ambrose sighed and rubbed his forehead.
-“All right ill see you later”.
“Shall I come and get you Amb…?”
-“No I’m ok… I’ll see you later”.
“Bye”.
Ambrose hung up.
“Liar” he said to himself.
“Damn lies… they have never given me anything but lies” he screamed out in anger.
And then he remembered. He remembered hearing them making a fool of him and plotting against him. They had taken Dawn from him. It was their fault that she was gone.
His eyes were opened…
He knew now what to do…



S u n d a y (The last day)


Ambrose slept nothing and when he saw that it was almost eight o’clock he got ready. He went nervously into the bathroom, poured himself a glass of Smirnoff and got the bath ready. He took his clothes of and looked at the scar, it bled and so did the bathroom. All around him the black blood was pouring, the walls were bleeding, the tub was bleeding and the mirrors were bleeding. He laid down in the tub and relaxed for the first time in that room. The whispers and screaming came back but it did not bother him now, now that he knew what was going on. He had been tricked by Aaron and the rest. It was their fault he had broken up with his ex in the first place. They were constantly finding new ways to ruin and poison him.
He finished his glass and then enjoyed his bath. He was cleaned, really cleaned. The black blood ran off him and showed him a never self.
He was pure…
Ambrose dried himself and put on his leather pants and shirt.
It was time to go to the party…

Ambrose walked slowly and steadily towards Aaron’s house.
The light from the snow was to bright… it was burning, he kept his eyes towards the skies that were dark and beautiful.
Ambrose was refreshed, now there was no headache but just pure confidence.
He felt his power run through him like a bolt of lightning and he was determined that this was the only way it could be if he was ever to see Dawn again.

Ambrose stepped up to the door of Aaron’s house and knocked on the door.
Iris opened and smiled.
“Hey Ambrose you look good”.
-“I know”.
Iris laughed and let him in.
Ambrose made his way into the living room were Aaron and a crowd of people were enjoying themselves. His ex was even there with her boyfriend.
Ambrose smiled to them and took up his bottle of vodka and finished it in front of them all.
“Hey man slow down there, you don’t want to get wasted so soon” Aaron said and laughed.
Ambrose smiled back and asked him to come with him.
He had made up his mind…
They walked into the kitchen were Eve was sitting and when she saw Ambrose she stood quickly up and walked out.
“What was that about?” Aaron asked Ambrose when she was gone.
-“Don’t care”.
“Right… now what can I do for you?”.
-“You know Aaron I decided to come because we have some issues to sort out… I now found out what you have been doing behind my back all along so don’t try to deny it… The lying and getting rid of Dawn. Now I am afraid you must pay for it”.
Aaron’s smile died away and he started walking out.
Ambrose drew a knife up from a drawer and stopped Aaron from leaving.
-“I love her” Ambrose cried into his face.
“Damn it Ambrose cant you understand, I don’t know her… nobody knows her here get over it, and give me that knife”.
Ambrose cried.
“I loved you” he said with his hand in the air end then he rammed the knife into Aaron’s shoulder.
Aaron gave up a horrible scream and before Ambrose knew it everyone was in the kitchen looking at him with terror and shock in their eyes.
Iris ran screaming to Aaron and Colin and his friends moved slowly to Ambrose definite in overwhelming him. Ambrose cried and ran to Colin and stuck the knife in his chest like a lance.
“You are at the threshold of hell, I know… I have seen it” Ambrose cried out with all his hate when Colin fell down.
Ambrose loosened the knife and was going for Iris when his ex jumped in front of him and managed to turn the knife towards himself. He could not slow down so he stuck himself in the chest and then impaled himself when he fell face down to the floor with the knife stuck in his chest.

Everyone was gone in a flash and he saw policemen carrying out Aaron’s body. Everything was fading before his eyes but then out of the darkness came Dawn walking towards him were he lied dying on the kitchen floor.
She kneeled down before him and ran her fingers through his long dark hair.
“I thought you were gone” Ambrose managed to say.
-“I thought you didn’t want me”.
“I promised to never leave you… I will not brake that promise… How did you find me?”.
-“Ohh no my love… you found me”.
“I even thought that you weren’t real… just another dream”.
-“I am real… see”.
Dawn kissed him and he forgot the pain.
“Take me now… in your arms, hold me tight and let me rest…” he said when she lied down with him.
“If I would have lived I would have damned us all”.
She locked him in her embrace and listened to him breathe, short and weak breaths in her ear.
“I’ve been wandering, like a small child. Now I’m standing on the last step and God knows I want to go home” Ambrose said crying and closed his eyes.
“Everything they taught us was nothing but lies… but the lies are over now…”.
Everything went blank, and he had kept his promise.
Ambrose paid with his life,
Ambrose kept his dream alive…


A.F.V. “Azmodan”,
24-05-2002