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INTERMISSION… ;)


10 days earlier…

The ever vigilant horde commander Galosh stands proudly on a hill overlooking Azshara, the gentle breeze sending ripples through his thick hair. His enormous army is right behind him, making final preparations to face the fierce dragon that roams these lands.. As the adrenaline begins to pump through his veins in anticipation, he turns to his second in command, Sarumén..

“This guy you mentioned… That gave us the information.. Can he be trusted?”
“Commander he's the best..”
“Bring him to me now”
“Aye commander..”

Guards promptly escort a young wide eyed troll with disturbingly dodgy eyes to his presence. He is holding a bundle of parchments and continously writing something on them even as he walks..

“What's your name, boy?”
“uhm.. one sec.. %4.8 hmm seems right.. doh not enough kills.. oh.. wait sorry.. ehm.. oh yes..name? ah they call me Thott sir..”
“So you're sure the claw will drop today?”
“…..”
“Hello??”
“……………”
“Sarumén what the hell is wrong with him?”
“I think he's taking too many hits, must be down atm”
“What's that supposed to mea…”
“My mighty tauren, exalted commander of the horde, it's never dropped on our server *cough* realm.. Today must be your day!”
“You know if you're wrong, I'll cut your head open and make a feast of your brains!”
“ /moo ”
“What did you…??”

Before he has time to unleash his fury on Thott, Galosh notices a second too late that a small gnome is talking to the fearsome Dragon Azuregos in the distance.

“Silly dragon know that my name is Munyfurmuntpls and I've come to kill you and plunder your treasures!”

Azuregos says something along the lines of “curiosity killed the cat”, teleports the little gnome under his belly and then sits on him.


Galosh stares silly at what happened to the gnome for a second, blinks and finally starts laughing hysterically. His entire army cracks up behind him..

A few minutes later, when he is finally able to compose himself, what he sees makes his jaw drop.

Azuregos lies dead.. A sizeable group of alliance forces is gathered around the dragon. The cursed head of the paladin order, the one called Baablenhearth is kneeling beside the dragon holding something that definately looks like a claw and talking to his men..

“Eskhandar's Left Claw, hmm.. nice set bonus.. Too bad I can't use it.. Bid if you want.. ”
“Commander, proc rate sucks”
“Oh alright.. No takers? Sharding then..”

Baablenhearth turns towards Galosh, shrugs, throws a nexus crystal towards him and says “P YU VB”
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The present time..


On the top floor of the mages tower in Elwynn Forest, Archmage Begmore is deeply concerned. With a solemn expression he beckons his fellow mages to the balcony. The group of mages approach the railing of the balcony looking down the lands that lie far below them… A deep silence reigns supreme, even nature seems to have hushed for the time being in a show of respect as to what's coming.

Archmage nods. He also involuntarily makes a thumb up gesture and says “aha”.. God, how he hates that!!! But for some reason he can't help doing it every time he nods! With a voice that's barely audible, he declares that “it's time”… The mages express their approval. They also nod and helpless to do anything about it themselves, give a thumbs up and say “aha”…

With one swift move, the mages on the balcony jump down together… And ice block half way through the air.. Well, all except a mage that goes by the name Deadra, who also goes straight down and splat on the ground. After reaching the ground, the council of mages burst out laughing, mocking the dead mage lying face down on the ground. “And there she goes again! You nub!”

The dead mage would have told them “FFS 3k latency buzz off” but out of respect for the archmage and for the fact that she is dead, decides otherwise.

Archmage gestures everybody to silence. “Alright now time for more serious matters… hmm… nah let's do it again! This is way more fun!”

5 minutes later the council is seriously mourning Deadra, who is once again very much dead.
“All red?”
“Yea..”

“Alright most devious mages of the realm! Brothers, sisters, listen to me! Alliance is under a dire threat as we speak. Ironforge as we know it may no longer exist if we don't do something right now. I am not saying we do this because I've forgiven Baablenhearth. He shall be avenged when we nuke him real, I mean ”real“ bad for that +def necklace that he wants! And nuke him we shall, but that's for another time… ”

“It's time for rising up to the challenge! It's time we faced our greatest fears!”

Saying that he sits down and starts conjuring water. Reluctantly the other mages join in.

“Doh should have gone for that mage trinket”
“What matz were needed for the Bottomless Bags again?”
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8 days earlier…

“Commander, we might as well look on the brightside, you may have lost the Left Claw of Eskhandar, but we have 40 Aqual Quintessence in stock now, should serve us for more then a mon..”
“Sarumén, don't even remind me of that! Baablenhearth will pay for his crime not to mention the ”U LO SE“ exploit!”
“Yes sire, the plan is in motion as we speak”

Commander Galosh, with Sarumén following close behind enters Blackrock mountain… As he walks slowly and confidently towards the Molten Core entrance, he wants to confirm that everything is in order.

“So, you've recruited the 40 that I asked?”
“They should be here shortly sire..”
“Our alt in position?”
“Yes sir, he is MT'ing for them in Molten Core right now”
“Smooth”

As they finish their conversation, a group of 40 undead priests file up right behind them and salute their commander.
“Sarumén, all shadow right? I don't want no holy filth for this job.”
“All shadow sire as you requested.”
“Fine. Now let's head to the entrance.”

The horde raid assembles and starts waiting patiently outside Molten Core.. Sarumén looks at his …. ehm… inner watch.. (which is located on the upper right hand side of his intellectual interface)

“It's time commander………. 3……….. 2……….. 1………… DING!!”
“WTF did you level up??”
“ehm no sire..”
“Pet?”
“Ehm I'm a mage sire.. *cough* expansion *cough* not yet released *cough* ”
“So what's with the DING?”
“Watch there commander”..

Suddenly with a flash of blinding light, tons of alliance folk pour out of Molten Core.. Amongst them is the esteemed paladin leader Baablenhearth, instantly recognizable from the skirt that he is wearing..

“Run out run out NOW!!”
“Run you knobs!!”
“For FECKS SAKE!!! How did we manage to pull Gehennas and Majordomo at once!!?! He's not even supposed to have spawned yet.”
“Well good thing Raggy is stationary..”
“Is he? I think I saw him right behind Golemagg and his dog!!”
“That wasn't Golemagg's dog, it was Magmadar”
“…..”

As Baablenhearth slowly recovers from the shock of his MT's incredible stunt of pulling the entire instance, he notices the horde army patiently waiting for them outside the entrance. There's something weird about the horde army though, they are all undead.. They all wear pink robes which he suspects are from Ahn'Qiraj.. They all wear tabbards with a heart on them… And a disturbing fact also slowly rises to the surface.. They are all priests..

Commander Galosh walks upto Baablenhearth and says “this time… P YU VB nub!”

In under a minute the whole alliance raid is willingly swimming in the lava, smiling stupidly, leisurely splashing lava at each other causing the occasional face melt and over all seemingly enjoying their break from Molten Core till they die one by one.

The horde army swimming themselves in the sweet taste of victory march outside Blackrock mountain.. Galosh turns to his right hand man, Sarumén, smiling in a way only a Tauren can.. presumably while grazing…

“Well, that went well didn't it Sarumén?”
“…..”
“Sarumén, what's wrong? Come gimme a hug”
“Sire..”

Galosh sees that Sarumén is frozen with fright, his outstretched hand literally trembling as he points towards something in the distance.

“Munyfurmuntpls!!”
“Sarumén, you have 5 epic mounts!!”

“…. Munyfurmuntpls!! gnome…”

Galosh turns his head slowly towards the little gnome that is approaching the party in a surprisingly calm manner..

“Hey folks, I'm Munyfurmuntpls, I was leveling up wands, and I'm happy to say I reached 299 real quick… Do you want to know the trick? Arcane Brilliance helps yes but what really does the trick is kiting the bigger mobs”

He raises his wand again and shoots a bolt that goes behind a large dune to the left.. “Alrightt!!!!!!!!!! 300!!”

A huge dragon, known as Lethon in raiding circles, comes around the corner.. In a very lazy manner he shadowbolts the entire horde group…

Galosh screams orders to his group, trying to get his Quel'Serrar and shield out, realizing they're banked in a continent far far away… “Heal me now, Nuke healing, I'll tank!!”
One of the priests puts his finger to the one big problem they're facing at that moment..
“Sorry, not holy /shrug ”

A little gnome says “oops” to himself and leisurely departs from the scene…
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The present time..

The noble champion of the paladin order, Baablenhearth stands at the back of his army of paladins and the ever mysterious gnome Munyfurmuntpls, lost in thought.. The tide of the battle has turned for the worse.. Horde seems unstoppable.

He suspects deep within that there's a “potion abuse” at work here! He wouldn't put it past that coward Galosh! At last he decides to share his worries with his leutenants.

“This is a wipe…”,

he thinks to himself, but tries to find more comforting words to describe the situation to his brothers in arms.

“My faithful soldiers, I sense your doubts and deep down inside I share them. In fact I can't help but acknowledge the fact that we are probably ultimately going to get royally OWNED…”


In the meanwhile, the horde is advancing fast into Ironforge and nothing is able to slow down their progress.
Even the trade channel spam is at an all time low as the sellers and buyers alike are getting slaughtered before they can make their exchange…

“100 gold for +100 hp on chest?!?!?! kidding me? Rip off!!!!!!!!!”
“Suit yourself, I'm the only enchanter left alive nubcake! And I should remind you that's on top of mats”

“Ken you make a portal to Darnassus pls? and ASAP plx. Will pay for matz kk?”
“Sure honey, here you g….. PUMMELLED??? PUMMELLED?????” ….gets one shotted.

“I'd love to buy those gauntlets for my alt, can you CoD them to me please?”
“Well I can trade them to you right now, have them on me anyway! Here you go..”
“…..”
“…..”
“……Trade laggg ffs! Alright I'll COD th… arrrggg…” ….gets one shotted..
“Told ya” ….gets one shotted..

“Opening lock boxes for free on AH bridge.. Severely limited time offer..” ….gets feared off AH bridge… Falls through the world… Goes out through the other side in Kalimdor, which is down.. Disconnects..

“Does my name mean anything to you?”
“Munyfurmuntpls?”
“ *puppy eyes* ”
“Ahh go on take this gold, will die soon anyway” …dies and suspends subscription till expansion.


Observing the hopeless chaos that's slowly enveloping whole of Ironforge, in one totally understandable and instinctive moment of panic, Baablenhearth says “brb” to his leutenants and bubbles and hearthes..

A minute later, with the longest face seen in the realm for centuries, he slowly walks out of an inn inside Iron Forge and grudgingly returns to his place by his troops, trying to erase the expression of guilt from his face and chuckling to his 2nd in command “Got ya didn't I?”

“ahem.. So did you go ask for aid from King Bronzebeard as I instructed?”
“Yes sire”
“Well?”
“He didn't respond to me sir”
“Did he respond to anybody then?????”
“Yes sir..”
“Well dammit tell me… to who?”
“to Valorian sir… He gave him a tier 0.5 quest.”
“FFS!!”

After receiving the grim news, urgently struggling to get his act together, Baablenhearth orders his troops to assume defensive positions and asks his leutenants to gather around for council..

“Ladies and gents, it's time to implement plan B”
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“What was plan C?”
“…..”


ANOTHER INTERMISSION ;)