I am man and I know what I want. I knew when I saw her first, the waitress, that I’d have her. She is new, used, meat. I am man and though I fancy myself chivalrous I have no room for drama in my life. I am busy, I am focused and I have a future. She was just a bit to flesh the summer out. I was there when she needed me, I let her call me her hero for rescuing her that night. But I am man and the man with me knew and grinned. Take the waitress on a Sunday night. I took her, and I tackled her to the floor of my living room and I nearly fucked her there. She wanted it I could tell. And I know women because I am a man.

Now she wont let me go, she cries, she calls. I give her bones. Now she is a kicked bitch-dog, tail between her legs, demanding to know why I’m leaving her when her behaviour makes it obvious. I am busy, I don’t have time for drama. I am taking on the world and she is only in my way. I feel for her though. It must be hard to be so used, a single mother, a slut, though I made sure she didn’t fuck around behind my back. It just takes a little training, tone down the lipstick, tan clothes, keep your eyes on me. It doesn’t matter what they look like in public. Well it does, I am a man and I want my lay to look clean, sexy in a muted way so other men know she’s hot and taken, so they look and leave her alone. Tell them they look good in tan, the wild ones and tell them to stop dying their hair. Because it doesn’t matter what clothes they’re in when we’re just going to take them off anyway. If she gives good head and stays clean she can wear whatever she likes.

I think she though I loved her. I said I did at the beginning but when are women going to understand that we say that to calm them down, to get them to trust us. It’s chick-whispering. Look them in the eye and let them feel like you care. I am a man and I know that I didn’t have to tell her I loved her to be able to fuck her. She was looser than that, but to get her to suck me, to give me more of her body and most of her heart I had to say the right words. Sex is better when they love you, the first hot few months when they want to fuck all the time and don’t talk so much. But she should have known after all the men she’s slept with that love turns to care if you’re one of the lucky girls, and if your not the words just fade into the air.

I have to admit, as man, that she took me by surprise. She was smart and very cool and seductive. And she seduced me, wove a spell and wrapped it around me. That is why women should be veiled and keep their eyes to the ground, because it was her eyes that trapped me and made me stay much longer than was good for me. I am a man and women should be…she got under my skin with words. I tried to leave and she would say, no stay, and I would. It was her voice and her eyes and the way she sat. I introduced her to my mother, my father, some friends. I suppose to them I seemed proud but I knew her history and had to make them think she was better than she was. I was possessed and fuck if I was going to let them know that I was possessed by a courtesan, a concubine, an foreign slut. I did a good job of it, of acting as if I truly loved her. And poor thing, she believed me too.

I’m a busy man with a lot of important things to do. No woman could understand that. They aren’t built to have to save worlds every day. I am a hero to many, people respect me. I see a handsome face in the mirror, and I’ve got that strut. I told her it was over, that now I needed to be alone. No sentimentalisms, just let’s go our separate ways. She took it well at first. I’m sure she thought I was going to change my mind. And I tossed her a bone to keep her at bay. I said, give me some time, okay? A week, a few days. I thought she’d go and get drunk and get laid and it would be sweetly over. But no, she says she still loves me. Still loves me. Jesus Christ. Did she love me? Does she really think that that is what it was? Love? Stupid women don’t get it: love is what your mother gives you. Your father gives you protection. Friends and family, comfort. The rest is just sex. Men hang out with women to fuck them when they need to. They tolerate the rest. Talk, dates, compromises, and my god, children are all the necessary investments to have a full time fuck around the house. And when you bore us or turn bitch we have affairs or dump your asses. Love is what you get from your mom. I am fully man, strong and independent but I can still say that no girl will ever top my mother.

I feel sorry for her. She sounds so lonely the on phone. She says that I was her best friend and that now that friend is gone. Sounds a little loser to me. She says on the phone, just tell me never to call you again and I won’t and I almost do but then I think she’ll do anything I tell her to and she gives explosive head and I don’t want to have to find someone else and train them while I’m so busy in my important life so I say no, I won’t tell you not to call me. Then I throw her a bone. I say, should we go out for coffee this weekend? Tomorrow maybe? And she says of course, yeah, who should call who. Complicated life she leads. So I say, just, you know, whoever calls first. Ok, she says. And I know she’s hoping I’ll call, waiting by her phone, but I’ve got such important things to do. She will call me. She just waited a day to see if I’d call her first but she’ll call today like a good little girl and if I have a few minutes I might stretch my legs a bit and meet her on my way to whatever other important places I have to go. She’s been a good girl, emotions excepted, and I think she deserves a few minutes every now and then. She’ll call. I’m sure she’ll call.