CAROLYN BURNHAM:Are you trying to look unattractive??
JANE:Yes.
CAROLYN BURNHAM:Well,congratulations.You´ve succeded admirably.

CAROLYN BURNHAM:Uh,Who´s car is that out front?
LESTER BURNHAM:Mine.1970 Pontiac Firebird.The car i´ve always wanted and now i have it.I rule!

RICKY FITTS:Excuse me for speaking so bluntly sir.But those fags make me want to puke my fucking guts out.
COLONEL FITTS:Well,me too son.Me too.

JIM#1:Do you just want to lose weight,or are you looking to increase strenght and flexibility as well?
LESTER BURNHAM:I want to look good naked!