Three business men were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how
stupid their wives were. The first says, “I tell you, my wife is so
stupid.

Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat
because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge big enough to
keep it in!”

The second agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is
thicker. “Just last week, she went out and spent $17000 on a new car,”
he laments, “and she doesn't even know how to drive!”

The third, a blond male, nods sagely and agrees that these two women
sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by
every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. “I have to
laugh when I think about it,” he chuckles. “Last week my wife left on a
vacation to Greece. I watched her packing her bags and she must have
taken at least 5 boxes of condoms with her. She doesn't even have a
penis!”



A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a
semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously
motions for her to pull over, and she does.
The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it.
Then
he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around
and
sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball
bat, and
starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see
that
she's laughing.
He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He
turns
around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He
demands,
“What's so funny?”
She says, “Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the
circle!”



A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the
loan officer.
> She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and
needs to
borrow
> $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of
security
for
> the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls
Royce. The car
is
> parked on the street in front of the bank,
> > she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees
to accept
the
> car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its
officers all
> enjoy a good laugh at the
> > blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a
$5,000 loan.
An
> employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the
bank's
> underground garage and parks it there.
> >
> > Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and
the
interest,
> which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Miss, we are
very happy to
> have had your business and this transaction has worked out
very nicely,
but
> we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you
out and
found
> that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would
you bother
to
> borrow $5,000?”
> >
> > The blond replies…..“Where else in New York City can I
park my car
for
> two
> > weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I
return?”
> >
> > >>>> Finally, a smart blonde joke



Not Going To Try This Again

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.

She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly ignorant of its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over.

She starts to lose consciousness, but to her great fortune, Bobby, the Wal-Mart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.


kveðja, sopranos