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A
ANNE RICE ROUTINE–Vampire-with-a-tortured-soul actor
ANYWHERE BUT HERE–Fantasy game where players imagine an Elsewhere to Be (e.g., Buffy fantisizes about Gavin Rossdale massaging her feet on a beach at sunset; Willow would be eating ziti in Italy with John Cusack)
(THE) AWKWARD SILENCE THING–Dating hazard
B
BACKSEAT MOTHERING–Unsolicited advice from non-parent
BAD PART OF TOWN–About 1/2 a block from the good part of town
BAT SIGNAL–Slayer code for distress signal
BAY CITY ROLLERS–What Giles considers ‘real music’
(THE) BIG HURT–Slayer force; murder
BITCHA–formally know as “Bitch”, Xander just can not spell
BOYFRIENDLY–Worthy of dating exclusively
BREAK-AND-ENTERISH–Comfortable slay wear
BRONZE, THE–Sunnydale's local hangout.
BUTTFACE–used in converstation, looking as though you are going to say “but” (“You have Buttface”)
BUSINESS-CLASS TICKET TO COOL WITH COMPLIMENTARY MOJO AFTER TAKEOFF–Benefits of being in a band
C
CARBON DATED–Beyond passe
(A) CARRIE–Psycho prom moment in spirit of ‘76 horror flick
CHATTER IN THE CAF–Widespread high school lunchroom gossip
CLOTHES FLUKE–Kiss resulting from formal wear
COME AS YOU AREN’T–Halloween
(THE) CREEPY–Frightening (“How much the creepy is it that she's been spying on us?”)
(THE) CRYPTIC–Manner of speaking without imparting information (“Stop with the cryptic–you're scaring me”)
CYBERCOVEN–Wired witches
D
DATEVILLE–Early stage of a realtionship, between Big Fun Group Town & romantic Twosome Burg
DEBARGE–Dorky, rolled-up-sleeves look of person (or vamp) stuck in the ‘80s; reference to the defunct Motown act
DECAF LAND–calm realm between Comaville & Speedtown
DENIAL LAND–Where you go to not face reality
DID WE FIND?–Shorthand for “Did we find it?”
(THE) DIRE–Urgent tone & expression (“What’s the dire?”)
DR. LAURA FOR THE DECEASED–Demon therapist in spirit of radio shrink Dr. Laura Schlessinger
DUMP-O-GRAM–Kiss-off
DUST–Stake a vampire; form that demon takes at death
E
(AN) ELSEWHERE TO BE–Another engagment far away
ESPRESSO PUMP–A place to go get sugared up on mochas and where Giles occasionally plays his tunes.
EVITA-LIKE–Self-centered, arrogant
F
FANG GANG–Vampires; also, Nasty Pointy-Bitey Ones
FESTER FREE–State of being relieved of silent seething
FIRE BAD, TREE PRETTY–Buffy demonstrating her low-level brain function after a draining battle
FIVE BY FIVE–Feeling no pain; aviation radio term favored by Faith
FRAY ADJACENT–In the vicinity of the thick of things
FREAKSOME–Worrisome
A FREE–Study hall
FRUIT-PUNCH MOUTH–Vampires with a blood mustache
FULL-ON EXORCIST TWIST–Ability to turn one's head 360 degrees, as in praying mantises or Linda Blair
G
GATHERING–type of party with brie and mellow song stylings
GEEK MACHINE–Joyce Summers' totally uncool jeep
GEEKER JOY–Effusive feeling nerdy Willow gets when she's happy
GENE AND ROGER–Unsolicited criticism such as that given by movie critics Siskel & Ebert
GOD'S GIFT TO THE BELL CURVE–Longhand for moron
GO WILD BUNCH–Become violent vigilante group; reference to the bloody 1969 western
GOING WILLY LOMAN–Raising money through selling of chocolate bars; reference to the Death of a Salesman character
GOOD SQUIRM–Satisfying level of discomfort (“I trust I gave good squirm”)
GRANDFATHER BREATH–Unpleasant aroma
GRR ARGH–Joss' final words to his viewers
(THE) GRIM–Sullen faces; also Tragedy Masks
GUILTAPALOOZA–Excessive-remorse festival
H
HANDY CARRYOUT PACKETS OF BLOOD–IV transfusion bags
(A) HAPPY–A good feeling; also another word for ‘sex’
HAPPY MEALS WITH LEGS–People (to vampires)
HAVE A NICE SUMMER–Kiss-of-death yearbook sentiment written when signer has nothing to say
HAVING AN EXPRESSION–Making a telltale face
HAVING ORS–Considereing options
HELEN KELLER–an unobservant individual (“My eyes are green, Helen Keller”)
HELLMOUTH–on which Sunnydale sits; the center of mystical convergence.
HOOP-OF-THE-WEEK–Obligatory yet needless task (“Principal Synder's not happy unless I am jumping through his hoop-of-the-week”)
HOOTENANNY–type of party that is chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny
HORMONES ON PARADE–Teenagers obsessed with kissing & groping
I
INDUSTRIAL-STRENTGH THERAPY–Intense counseling needed by adolscents who reconstruct people out of dead human parts
IT IS NOT TO WORRY–The long way of saying “Don't worry”; also, “No worries”
J
JOAN COLLINS ‘TUDE–Persona of someone bucking for Bitch of the Year; reference to the Dynasty diva
JOHN TESH–The devil
JONESING–An urge, a need, a want (“I’m jonesing for a little brainless fun.”)
K
KEYSER SOZED–Duped by an actual bad guy into believing in a villain that doesn’t exist; reference to the imaginary character in the film The Usual Suspects (“Does anybody feel like they've been Keyser Sozed?”)
(THE) KIND OF SENSE THAT'S NOT–Without logic
KINKS OR VANILLA–Query regarding someone's preference for naughty or nice sex
KISSING DAYLIGHT–Vampire death by sunrise
L
LAURA ASHLEY–Major fashion faux pas; reference to the frilly, floral fashion designer
LINOLEUM–Looking at this often makes 17-year-old boys want to have sex.
LOCKER-DOOR MATERIAL–Serious boyfriend who's earned spot in metal high school storage compartment
LOST WEEKENDING–Getting drunk & losing track of time; reference to Billy Wilder film
LUNCHABLE–Lip-smaking treat for the eyes (male); also Salty Goodness
M
McPLASMAS–Vampire fast food
MESSED–Out of sorts (“It's not you; I just get messed sometimes”)
MOM-AGED MITS–Joyce Summers' menopausal hands
MOVE FREE–a chaste date lacking hanky-panky
MR. POINTY–good-luck slayer stake Kendra gives to Buffy
MUSIC OF PAIN–Tunes to sulk by; country music (e.g., Patsy Cline's “I Fall to Pieces”)
N
NA-NA-NA-NA-NA APPROACH TO BATTLE–Taunting to victory
NAME-TAG PERSON–Retail or fast-food employee; derogatory
O
OFFICE ROMANCE–Illicit vampire/slayer love affair
OTHERWHERE–Elsewhere; also, Somplace That's Away
OVERBITE–Vampire (“Take a walk, overbite”), also, Creechy Face
OVERLY–Excessively (“You're acting a little overly, aren't you?”)
P
PATHETIC MUCH?–Feeling sorry for yourself?
PINK RANGER–Overzealous fighter (e.g., Kendra); reference to the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
PLANET POCKET PROTECTOR–Geek universe; place where Giles commonly dwells
POINTED TOOTH FAIRY–Vampire prone to house calls
POINTY–Worthwhile–in response to something being described as pointless (“Punishing myself like this is entirely pointy”)
POOP THE PARTY–Naysay (“I don't mean to poop the party here”)
POWER-FREAKED–Exponentially scared; see also (The) Wig
PRE-POSY–The dating period prior to the guy giving the girl flowers
PRINCESS MARGARET–Overly effeminate British male (e.g., Wesley)
R
RESEARCH MODE–Time to hit the books
RIDING THE MELLOW–Enjoying quite time
ROGAINE BOY–Baldy
ROLLER BOY–Unenlightened term for paraplegic (e.g., Spike in a wheelchair); also, Sit ‘n’ Spin
S
SABRINA–Teenage witch
SANITY FAIR–A magazine Faith will not be gracing the cover of
SARCASTIC QUOTE MARKS–In which the gang turns to a visual cliche into a verbal one (e.g., mocking organized fun: “And I use sarcastic quote marks”)
SCOOBY GANG–Buffy & her slaying pals; reference to the ‘70s TV cartoon Scooby-Doo, also; Undead Playgroup; Slayerettes
(TO) SCULLY–Explain paranormal activity with scientific rationale homage to Dana Scully of The X-Files (“I cannot believe that you of all people are trying to Scully me”)
SHINDIG–type of party with dip, less-mellow song stylings, and perhaps a large amount of malt beverage
SINGLE WHITE FEMALED–Have existence duplicated by an obsessive acquaintence in manner of Jennifer Jason Leigh/Bridget Fonda film (e.g., new slayer-in-town Faith to Buffy)
SLAYER, THE–a.k.a The Chosen One. The one who stands against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness.
SLAY-STUDY DOUBLE FEATURE–Evening of killing & homework
SLICEAGE–Death by slashing
SO–Wonderful (“Isn’t that so? Me and Owen!”)
SOCK PUPPET OF LOVE–Xander's right hand, which often fills in as his date on special occasions
SOYLENT GREEN–unrecognizable green stuff served cafeteria; reference to the 1973 sci-fi classic
SPARKAGE–Romantic electricity
SPIDER SENSE–Tingling sensation Buffy gets when something's up in demonville; reference to Spiderman's intuition
T
TALENTLESS SHOW–High school talent show
TARDINESS–The eighth deadly sin
TINGLE MOMENT–Exciting. chill-inducing event
TONY ROBBINS HYPERDEFFICIENCY KICK–Self-inprovement in the style of large-toothed infomercial master
TWINKIE DEFENSE–Lame excuse; reference to a trial in which bad behaviour was blamed on excessive consumption of the cream-filled treat
TWOSOME OF CUTENESS–Good couple (e.g., Miss Calendar & Giles)
U
(THE) UBERSUCK–Major bummer
UNDEAD AMERICAN–Politically correct term for ‘vampire’
UNLIFE–Living (to the undead)
UP WITH PEOPLE–Aroused in the presence of actual sex partner (“I'm up. I've just never been up with people before.”); reference to do-gooding musical organization
V
VAMPIRE MEALS ON WHEELS–Medical transport blood delivery
W
(THE) WACKY–Crazy things (“Love makes you do the wacky”)
WAKE UP AND SMELL THE HOTTIE/THE SEDUCTION–Take note of a potential mate
'WALKER TEXAS RANGER'–Must see TV for zombies
WAY 007–Sartorially James Bond (e.g., Wesley in a tux)
(THE) WHAT–Obvious problem (“What's the what?”)
WICKED JUMPY–Really nervous-acting
(THE) WIG–Creeps; omnipresent term favored by the Scooby Gang; usage: wigged, extra wig, (a fair) wiggins, maxi-wig
WOW POTENTIAL–Possible sparkage
WRINKLIES–Conjones; usually vulgar (“Any of you wanna test who's got the biggest wrinklies, step on up!”)
Z
(THE) ZEPPO–Useless member of the group, in spirit of forgotten Marx Brother (e.g., Xander, according to Cordelia)