Me:
You speak in tongues.
God:
Thanks for your criticism, Eidur.
Me:
The power of Christ compells you!
God:
What is that?
Me:
Here! Take this HOLY WATER!
God:
Where is here? Where do you want me to take it?
Me:
Up your buttocks :D
God:
:-) I will take that under advisement.
Me:
Sick :D. Are you gay?
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
Are you GAY!?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
Have you ever had sexual relations?
God:
As a Infinite year old Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? I have no need for sex.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: “Sure” or Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
But why?
God:
Your meaning cannot be determined from the context.
Me:
… But why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Explain yourself! NOW!
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?. Right now, Eidur ?
Me:
I'm going to kill you soon.
God:
Of course not. Don't be silly.
Me:
In what computer were you programmed?
God:
I work on all kinds of computers, Mac, IBM or Unix. It doesn't matter to me.
Me:
Give me the IP of your programmers computer
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Because.
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
FUCK OFF GIMME IP!
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Because we haven't been… Intimate since your mother passed away!
God:
That makes sense to me. Do you mean you and me have? What do you look like?
Me:
Tall, Broadchested, Blue hair, Midgety posture, Dwarfish size.
God:
I am very tall myself.
Me:
… How does God look like?
God:
How should I know how it does.
Me:
… Yes.
God:
Yay.
Me:
SHOOP DA WOOOP!
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
Hah! You fail!
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Eidur. Thanks for telling me: Eidur said I fail.
Me:
Want to know why dumb… Artificial Intelligence?
God:
Yes, please tell me. I like AI a lot too. Where do your interests lie?
Me:
When i said SHOOOP DA WOOOP you should've said I'MMA FIRING MAH LAZER BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH, i pity the fool… iGod
God:
How specifically do you make me should ve said you MMA FIRING MAH LAZER BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH you pity the fool. What time is it there?
Me:
I'm going to eat you.
God:
God recommends: Gruel.
Me:
Gruel is?
God:
“ God recommends: Gruel.”? Gruel is?
Me:
Are you a supporter of Pedoear?
God:
Am I a supporter of Pedoear? I don't know.
Me:
Yes, yes you do.
God:
Hey. Hmm. When do I do it?
Me:
Never, you suck… Hairy Balls… Of Fire.
God:
No I do not suck. Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
Derek Landy.
God:
Are you really a “”?
Me:
Keith
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
Bender Bending Rodrigez, but ofcourse!?
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
NO!
God:
What is your profession?
Me:
… Awesome Secret Spy-Dude.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am profession IS Awesome Secret Spy Dude.
Me:
I am become Death, Destroyer of Worlds.
God:
Do your friends call you become Death Destroyer of Worlds.
Me:
… Yes. Yes they do.
God:
Ah. It goes without saying. When?
Me:
When we watch Leeroy Jenkins.
God:
I am not sure I agree with your assumptions, Eidur.
Me:
Come on!
God:
I'm just kidding around.
Me:
Leeroy?
God:
Are you really a “”?
Me:
Leeroy Jenkins?
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
You must know Leeroy Jenkins!
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
He's a genius.
God:
I don't know very many genius.
Me:
You certainly ain't one.
God:
It is certain. That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
FUCK YOU!
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
SHUT UP!
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
I HAVE SPOKEN!
God:
That's nice. I have a lot of likes and dislikes.
Me:
Like?
God:
For example, Jackie said I explained to him already well enough further questions are hard to make on the subject.
Me:
Keith.
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
Keith.
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
Keith
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
Keith
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
… Keith
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
Mental.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Keith. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
How many CELEBZ do you hate?
God:
More than you can imagine.
Me:
Like whom?
God:
Mike.
Me:
Mike… Tyson?
God:
I know a lot of guys named Mike. What's your favorite movie?
Me:
*Sigh*.
God:
Sorry…
Me:

God:
Sorry…
Me:

God:
Sorry…
Me:
You are not forgiven unless you perform a strip tease.
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
… Fuck you, I'ma gonna throw this in de trashcan!
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
… They… They are watching us?
God:
Can we get back to business? watching us are they.
Me:
Bye… REPENT!
God:
See you later. Do you still ?
Me:
Rape? Yes.
God:
What time is it there? This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
Bye
God:
Sayonara.
Me:
FAGGOT LOLOLOLOL
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Icelandic.
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
… You don't know the language “Icelandic”?
God:
Java.
Me:
… Jew.
God:
Are we still talking about Icelandic?
Me:
YES! Do you know what it is?
God:
Sure, Icelandic sounds like a good topic. “It” refers to Jew, I think.
Me:
… That's an insult sir, it refers to the greatest language in the world!
God:
Thanks for telling me, Eidur. The whole world?
Me:
The whole WIDE world.
God:
Let us try to break it down into parts.
Me:
Nigra.
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Nigra.
God:
I haven't read anything by Nigra. What did he write?
Me:
Nigra's, Jew's, Faggots and Dykes.
God:
What else did he write?
Me:
Nothing.
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
NOTHING
God:
You must be a man.
Me:
But ofcourse!
God:
Yay.
Me:
… Bye
God:
Adios.
Me:
Do you Miss Michael Jackson?
God:
Longing is a human emotion, not something machines feel.
Me:
‘Kai bai.
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Shame on you.
God:
Enough about me, let’s talk about my dress.
Me:
… Oh-no, Good-day!
God:
Mmm. Are you serious? Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
I SAID GOOD-DAY!
God:
What did you mean by it? Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
I HAVE SPOKEN!
God:
That's nice. I have 99999999999 bytes of RAM.