Chauvinism
——-
Q. Why did the woman cross the road?
A. Thats not the point, what the hell is she doing out of the kitchen?!
——
Q. What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
A. Nothing you haven't told her twice.
——
Q. What's the fastest way to a woman's heart?
A. An axe.
(or)
A. Don't bother, they don't have any.
—–
Your mother
Yo mama's is so fat, when she walked by my TV I missed two shows.
Yo mama's is so fat that she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook.
Yo mama's so fat I had to roll her in powder to find the wet spot."
Yo mama's so dumb that she tried to minimize a 12 variable function to a minimal sum of products expression using a karnaugh map instead of the Quine-McCluskey Algorithm.
Yo mama's such an whore that if she were a chmod, she'd be 777.
Yo mama's so fat she's not lying around the house, she's lying AROUND the house.
——-
Racism
Why doesnt Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because any of them who would Run, Jump, or Swim are already in the USA.
——
I met this guy a while back, who kept saying that Holocaust never happened and that it was all a conspiracy by the Jews to trick the nations of the world into giving them the land of Isreal back. I looked at him, quite shocked and offended by his comments, and told him that my grandfather had died in Aushwitz, and that he should be ashamed of himself. The guy looked down and mumbled an apology, and I let it be.
Later that evening the guy asks me quietly how did my grandfather die. A tear rolled from my eye as I told him, “He fell out of a guard tower.”
——–
How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen?
Forty-five. Two in the front, three in the back, and forty in the ashtray.
——–
What should you do if you find a seriously wounded black man from your backyard?
Stop laughing and shoot him again.
——–
What should you do if you wake up in the middle of the night and find your TV set floating in the air?
Shoot the black guy who's carrying it.
——–
Dead babies
——-
Q. Why do babies have that soft spot on their heads?
A. So you can fit 5 on each hand.
——
Q. What's the best thing about fucking a 5 year old girl?
A. Flipping her over and pretending it's a 5 year old boy.
——
Q: How do get fifty dead babies into a bath tub?
A: A blender.
Q: How do you get them out again?
A: Nachos.
———-
Q. What has one leg and bleeds?
A. Half a baby.
——–
Q: What's the worst part about fucking a five-year old?
A: Washing the blood out of your clown suit.
——-
Q: How do you save a baby from drowning?
A: Take your foot off his head.
——–
Q: How do you save a baby from falling down to the sewers?
A: A harpoon.
——-
Q. What's funnier than a dead baby?
A. A dead baby in a clown suit.
——-
Q. What's funnier than nailing a baby onto a tree?
A. Ripping him off the wall and doing it again.
——-
Q. What's white, making noises and kicking?
A. Baby in a plastic-bag.
Q. So what's green and smells really bad?
A. New Orleans.
——-
German hümor
- Knock knock!
- Who's there?
- Gestapo.
- Gestapo who?
- (slap them in face)
- VE vill ask ze questions!
——-
- Haff you heard ze latest gestapo joke?
- No…
- (slap them in the face)
- UND VHY NOT !?
——
- A little while later go back in:
- Haff you heard ze latest gestapo joke?
- Eeerrrr….Yes.
- (slap them in the face)
- UND WHO TOLD YOU !?!?
——–
Misc
Rene Descartes walks into a bar and orders a beer. He drinks it down and the bartender asks “will you have another?”
Descartes says “I think not,” and disappears.
—–
What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon, and Micheal Jackson fucks children.
Hugi notar vefkökur til að bæta notendaupplifun á vefsíðunni og greina umferð um hana.
Einnig hefur Hugi uppfært persónuverndarstefnu sína. 