Ég…gjörsamlega eeeelska Hitchhiker! ^^
“Zaphod Beeblebrox was on his way from the tiny spaceport on Easter Island (the name was an entirely meaningless coincidence - in Galacticspeke, easter means small, flat and light-brown) to the Heart of Gold island, which by another meaningless coincidence was called France.”
“And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change, a girl sitting on her own in a small café in Rickmansworth suddenly realized what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be made a good and happy place. This time it was right, it would work, and no one would have to get nailed to anything. Sadly, however, before she could get to a phone to tell anyone about it, a terrible, stupid catastrophe occured and the idea was lost forever. This is not her story.”
“It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.”
“In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.”
“Life… is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.”
“Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.”
“The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.”
“Six pints of bitter,” said Ford Prefect….
“And quickly please, the world's about to end.”
…. So the barman said,
“Oh yes, sir? Nice weather for it.”
“Ford,” he said, “you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.”
Arthur and Ford opened their eyes and looked about in considerable surprise.
“Good God,” said Arthur, “it looks just like the sea front at Southend.”
“Hell, I'm relieved to hear you say that,” said Ford.
“Why?”
“Because, I thought I must be going mad.”
“Perhaps you are. Perhaps you only thought I said it.” Ford thought about this.
“Well, did you say it or didn't you?” he asked.
“I think so,” said Arthur.
“Well, perhaps we're both going mad.”
“Yes,” said Arthur, “we'd be mad, all things considered, to think this was Southend.”
“Well, do you think this is Southend?”
“Oh, yes.”
“So do I.”
“Therefore we must be mad.”
“Nice day for it.”
“Yes,” said a passing maniac.
“Who was that?” asked Arthur.
“Who - the man with the five heads and the elderberry bush full of kippers?”
“Yes.”
“I don't know. Just someone.”
“Ah.”
“Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindboggingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. ”The argument goes something like this:
`I refuse to prove that I exist,' says God, `for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.'
“`But,' says Man, `The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED.'
”`Oh dear,' says God, `I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.
“`Oh, that was easy,' says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.
”Most leading theologians claim that this argument is a load of dingo's kidneys…“
”You know,“ said Arthur, ”it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space, that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young.“
”Why, what did she tell you.“
”I don't know. I didn't listen.“
”Ford!“ he said, ”there's an infinite number of monkeys outside who want to talk to us about this script for Hamlet they've worked out.“
”Sorry, did I say something wrong?" said Marvin [a robot], dragging himself on regardless. “Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway so I don't know why I bother to say it, oh God I'm so depressed.”
“But Mr Dent, the plans have been available in the local planning office for the last nine month.”
“Oh yes, well as soon as I heard I went straight round to see them, yesterday afternoon. You hadn't exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them, had you? I mean, like actually telling anybody or anything.”
“But the plans were on display …”
“On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”
“That's the display department.”
“With a flashlight.”
“Ah, well the lights had probably gone.”
“So had the stairs.”
“But look, you found the notice didn't you?”
“Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying Beware of the Leopard'.”
“For thousands more years, the mighty ships tore across the empty wastes of space and finally dived screaming onto the first planet they came across – which happened to be the Earth – where due to a terrible miscalculation of scale the entire battle fleet was accidentally swallowed by a small dog.”
Og…. fleira fleira fleira :)
Hugi notar vefkökur til að bæta notendaupplifun á vefsíðunni og greina umferð um hana.
Einnig hefur Hugi uppfært persónuverndarstefnu sína.