The “How to kill various creatures” guide by Raskolnikov
Hérna mun ég koma með mitt “guide” svo að allir verða viðbúnir ef skildi dynja á árásir svo þessum verum…(Þetta verður á ensku)

How to kill a vampire!

The first thing you must do is pack plenty of silver stakes and crosses, also be sure to have plenty of garlic if such should come to good use.

Then you must hunt it down in the night time. The best thing here to do is to take a hostage and use it as a bate to lure the vampire out of it's nest.

When the vampire comes you must be ready, take the garlic and the cross in both hands. Throw the garlic at the vampire. That should buy you some time to sneak up on it and flash your cross! It should die. But if it does not die, then you must stab it through the heart with a silver stake!

The Silver stake vill kill it surely!
But note that Silver Stakes are pretty expensive in these days so you must limit your shopping.

How To Kill A Werewolf!

Here you olny need a gun and minimum of 7 solid silver bullets.

So you'll need a bate like with the vampire, but only a much larger bate. Werewolfs mostly eat meat, so I suggest a large pile of horse meat!

So when the Werewolf has detected the “bate” you will rise from your cover and shoot it twice. Once in the heart and once in the head. If you miss at first you'll have to hurry, because the Werewolf has probably seen and heard you. So shoot it and be sure not to miss his head and heart.

This is guaranteed to kill the Werewolf!

How to kill a zombie!

This is the easiest of all those I have killed. All you need is a shotgun and bullets!

Note that they won't die if you shoot them in the heart. Different from regular humans these special humans you have to shoot in the head to kill!

A simple 12-gauge shotgun and plenty of bullets should do the trick!

How til kill a ghost!

This is quite easy. You simply take up the phone and dial THE GHOSTBUSTERS!

If they are unavible you'll have to take matters into your own hands!

The best thing here is to use a vacuum cleaner! I suggest the Medosa 1253 W vacuum cleaner. You can buy them in any Electronics store!

Just suck the ghost into the vacuum cleaner and dispose of it!

The vacuum cleaner will possibly become haunted, so best is to throw it out with the ghost!

How to kill aliens!

If aliens invade Earth and try to take over your home, you have to have all the guns and ammo you can get your hands on!

They have a tender spot on the left side of their hip where they keep their life support and vidal organs. So the best thing is to aim and shoot as much as you can!

A M14 rifle works best. Be sure to have plenty of bullets and every defence cover you can!

When the aliens are dead…DO NOT GO OUT OF YOUR HOUSE!!! stay in and protect your family. There may possibly be more aliens outside!

How to kill Sphinxs' Centaurs and Minotaurs!

They best thing here is to use a machette and chop of their heads!

The Sphinx in quite easy for it has a soft neck and they're asy to cut!

The Centaurs on the other hand work just as humans. They have bone and will be harder to chop, but you must thrust fast and hard to get it in one chop!

And the Minotaurs are nearly impossible!

That's why you must use a setative to make it sleepy, then, begin to saw through his shell-like body armor. This will take about 73 minutes and you'll get tired easly.

How to kill mermaids!

The only thing possible here is to poison them with cyanide!

Now, many people call mermaids “beautifull and excotic” but they are in fact quite vicious and nasty!

Just inject the cyanide with a syringe and it will die in less than 10 minutes.

How to kill a Hydra!

Now, they hydras are pretty large and difficult to kill (this is because of their strength and size).

Just use a simple army of bowmen and swordsmen here!

About 250 og each will do the trick. Your stratigy must be bulletproof and flawless! You must synchronice the timing of the attacks. Make sure the hydra is not attacking you or your men, then it's the right time to attack! Your defence must be excellent or everyone will die!

How to kill a dragon!

Just like the hydra this is a rather large and strong crature! This one you'll have to nuke to kill it comepletely!

It's quite easy actually!

The typical dragon will die after you nuke it. But one has yet to be killed, The Northern Region Polar Dragon! It can't be killed because of it's powerful resurection skill!

But that is not of any issue yet!

How to kill a Yeti and a Sasquatch!

These are basicly the same. Yeti (or The Abominable Snowman) and a Sasquatch (or Bigfoot) are apelike creatures how live at both ends of the world!

But they both live in a cold environment so heat and fire is the best thing to use!

Gas, oil, gasoline, any flamible stuff is good!

It takes about 20 minutes to fully kill them! so pack a nice meal to lure them out of their homes and then kill them!

How to kill seacreatues like Lochness Monster and “Lagarfljótsormurinn”

This is easy, just lure them up on the land and then throw them in cages. They will die in 25 minutes tops!

This kindoff says itself so there's no need for further instuctions!

How to kill a Flying Spaghetti Monster!

The typical flying spaghetti monster looks like spaghetti and meatballs but only flying! (Like this.)

You must down this creature in water!, although it's pretty hard to catch (because it flies!) I have mastered a way to catch it! You simply get in a helicopter and fly up to it's nest and sneak into the nest undetected and put it to sleep!

How to kill a Resident!

The Residents are aliens from a far away planet! But they are special and different from the other aliens because they have a bulletproof protection sheild wich can't be penetrated!

There are four types of Residents known to man, they looks like this.

These you have to kill with a smooth jazz melody. I recomend the album Sketches Of Spain by Miles Davis! It's also good to have Oscar Wilde by your side to read them a poem!

This has worked every single time!

You know, their protection sheild can not withstand smooth jazz. But be careful not to play anything experimental to them! That will only aggitate them further!

Well, I hope this has come to good use for you!

Just be safe out there!
Eyes down, round and round, let's all sit and watch the moneygoround.