Þar sem margir eru komnir í jólaskap, jólaskraut farið að sýna sig á ljósastaurum borgarinnar, Kringlan komin í jólafötin ásamt Smáralindinni og konan í húsinu á móti er búin að hengja upp jólaseríu í stofuglugganum sínum ákvað ég að senda inn tvö lítil kvæði eftir ónefnda höfunda og nefnist Star Trek: The Next Generation Christmas. Upprunalegt heiti á kvæðinu er The Night Before Christmas eftir Clement Clarke Moore


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#1

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the ship
Not a circuit was buzzing, not one microchip;
The phasers were hung in the armory securely,
In hope that no aliens would get up that early.
The crewmen were nestled all snug in their bunks
(Except for the few who were partying drunks);
And Picard in his nightshirt and Bev in her lace,
Had just settled down for a neat face-to-face…
When out in the halls there arose such a racket,
That we leapt from our beds, pulling on pants and jacket.
Away to the lifts we all shot like a gun,
Leapt into the cars and yelled loudly, “Deck One!;

”It's Riker! It's Data! It's Worf and Jean-Luc!
It's Geordi! And Wesley, the genetic fluke!
To the top of the bridge, to the top of the hall!
Now float away, float away, float away all!“

As leaves in autumn are whisked off the street,
So the floor of the bridge came away from our feet,
And up to the ceiling our bodies they flew,
As the captain called out, ”What the heck is this Q?!“.

The prankster just laughed and expanded his grin,
And, snapping his fingers, he vanished again.
As we took in our plight and were looking around,
The spell was removed, and we crashed to the ground.

Then Q, dressed in fur from his head to his toe,
Appeared once again to continue the show.
”That's enough!“ cried the captain, ”You'll stop this at once!“,
And Riker said, ”Worf! Take your aim at this dunce!“,

”I'm deeply offended, Jean-Luc,“ replied Q.
”I just wanted to spend Christmas with you.“
As we scoffed at his words, he produced a large sack.
He dumped out the contents, and took a step back.

”I've brought gifts,“ he said, ”just to show I'm sincere.
There's something delightful for everyone here.“
He sat on the floor and dug into the pile,
And handed out gifts with his most charming smile.

”For Counselor Troi, there's no need to explain,
Here's Tylenol-Beta for all of your pain.
For Worf I've got mints as his breath's not too great,
And for Geordi LaForge, an inflatable date.
For Wesley, some hormones, and Clearasil-Plus;
for Riker, a truss.
For Beverly Crusher, there's sleek lingerie,
And for Jean-Luc, the pleasure to see her that way.

Then he sprang to his feet with that grin on his face,
And, clapping his hands, disappeared into space.
But we heard him exclaim as he dwindled from sight,

“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good flight!!”


#2

'Twas the night before Christmas on the Enterprise-D,
On a routine short hop to Starbase 03,
With Data on duty in the command chair,
At Warp 6, the Enterprise soon would be there.
Just for something to do while the other crew slept,
He scanned where historical records were kept –
And with a blink of his eye and a cock of his head,
“Intriguing! Tomorrow is Christmas!” he said.

But no one was stirring, and he sought to find why,
And so he buzzed Geordi, who awoke with a sigh:
“Christmas? It's only an old holiday –
Now just let me get back to sleep, okay?”

“But is to wish Merry Christmas not human to do?”
And so Data wished it – to the whole ship and crew.
Everyone on the Enterprise awoke from this clatter –
Picard rushed to the bridge to see what was the matter.

“What is the meaning of this noise, Mister Data?”
“Sir, is it not Christmas–?” “We'll discuss it much later!”

Just then Worf said, “Captain – a Klingon Prey Bird!
Its hull has been damaged – it's uncloaking, sir.”
“On screen,” said Picard, as the Klingon ship hailed:
“Federation vessel, our Life Support systems have failed!

A strange ship attacked us, inflicting the worst,
(though naturally, of course, we'd fired on it first).”
The Klingons beamed over, and the senior staff met,
To try and determine the source of the threat.
Said Picard, “Mister Data, an assignment for you:
Give all of these Klingons something to do!
They think it's the Romulans we should look for,
Get them all off the bridge, before there's a war!”

So Data departed, while the rest of the crew
Wondered: Romulans? Ferengi? If not them, then who?

Said Worf, “Sir – disturbance on Holodeck Three!”
The entire bridge crew ran down there to see.
Roared Picard, “Mister Data, what the devil is this!!”
“Sir, I have taught the Klingons how to celebrate Christmas.”

And so there they were – on holodecks 3, 4 and 5
With synthohol, singing and Rokeg Blood Pie!
Soon the Big E was rocking with holiday cheer
Friend, foe, and family came from both far and near.

The Romulans showed up with some Romulan Ale,
The Ferengi brought goodies for free – not for sale!
But a strange ship was coming, the captain was told,
With one crew member only, and a huge cargo hold.

Said the Klingons, “It's the strange ship that fought us – attack!”
Said Picard, “On Christmas? – Mister Worf, just hold back.”

And then as the ship came into view,
Onscreen came its captain – none other than Q!

He wore a white beard and a suit of deep red…
“Joyeux Noel, mon captain,” was what Santa Q said.
“Tell those Klingons next time to not go so berserk.
You need good defense systems in this line of work.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be warping away…
Did you think anyone else could do this job in one day?”

“I'm sensing emotion,” said Counselor Troi,
“Peace in the galaxy, Good Will and Joy.”
And they stood on the bridge and watched Q take flight,
shouting,

“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!!”