After Mr. And Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted herhusband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately,
Mr. Fenton was like most men–he found shoppingboring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately,
Mrs. Fenton was like most women–sheloved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.
“Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite acommotion in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and may beforced to ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against Mr.Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillancecameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them inpeople's carts when t hey we ren't looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading tothe women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an officialvoice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.’

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag ofM&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign to acarpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department andtold other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows andblankets from the bedding department

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him hebegan crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used itas a mirror while he p icked his nose.

10 November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously whileloudly humming the ‘ Mission Impossible’ theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsedthrough, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSEVOICES AGAIN!' And last, but not least…

15.. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door,waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper inhere!'

Regards,
Walmart”