Þessi var skrifaður á eitt klósettið í MR:

“Why did the woman cross the road?”
“Never mind that, what was she doing out of the kitchen?”

[Afsakið stafsetningavillur]<br><br><center>“Life is a deadly meaningless sexually-transmitted desease”</center>
<center><font size=12 face=“Arial”><a href="http://kasmir.hugi.is/Alliat/ ">SÍÐAN MÍN!</a> </font></cente

1. How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings
it.

2. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick
up a
woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a
washing
machine will probably never be able to support
you.

3. Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those “evolutionary things” that
allows them to
stand closer to the kitchen sink.

4. How do you know when a woman is about to say
something
smart? When she starts her sentence with “A man
once told
me. ”

5. How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

6. Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build
up the
required pressure.

7. If your dog is barking at the back door and
your wife is
yelling at the front door, whom do you let in
first? The
dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

8. What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman that won't do what she's told.

9. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name
was “Always.”

10. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I
don't like
to interrupt her.

11. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of
her
intelligence? Divorced.

12. Scientists have discovered a food that
diminishes a
woman's sex drive by 90%.
It is called Wedding Cake.

13. Marriage is a 3-ring circus
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.

14. Our last fight was my fault; My wife asked me.
“What's
on the TV?” I said, “Dust!”

15. Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

16. Young Son: “Is it true, Dad, I heard that in
some parts
of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he
marries
her?” Dad: That happens in every country, son.

17. A man inserted an advertisement in the
classifieds:
“Wife Wanted.” The next day he received a hundred
letters.
They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

18. The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday
is to forget it once.

19. Women will never be equal to men until they
can walk
down the street with a bald head and a beer gut,
and still
think they are beautiful.

20. Why do married men gain weight while bachelors
don't?
Bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they
want,
then go to bed.
Married guys go to the bed, see nothing they want,
then go
the refrigerator.

21. Why do brides wear white?
Men like their dishwasher to match the fridge and
range.

Þennan hafa líka allir heyrt:
Af hverju hafa konur fætur?
-Svo þær standi ekki á gati!
Svo eru til allir regnboaganns ljóskubrandarar:
Ljóskan fór til læknis og sgði honum að hún hafi fengið flugu upp í leggöngin.
Læknirinn sagðist redda því og setti hungang á hendina og stakk henni inn, en þegar það virkaði ekki þá setti hann hunang á “litla vininn” og stakk honum inn.
En þegar hann sá að það virkaði ekki byrjaði hann að hamast á henni og ljóskan segir:
“Hvar ertu eiginlega að gera!?”
Læknirinn svarar:
“ÉG ÆTLA AÐ SKJÓTA HELVÍTIÐ!!!”
<br><br><center>“Life is a deadly meaningless sexually-transmitted desease”</center>
<center><font size=12 face=“Arial”><a href="http://kasmir.hugi.is/Alliat/ ">SÍÐAN MÍN!</a> </font></cente