How do you make a man pregnant?
Stick a dead baby up his ass!

How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.

What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A baby with a black eye!

Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?

So you can see the expression on its face!

What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
They're fun to ride until they die.

What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.

What's the difference between a baby and a grandmother?

Grandmothers don't die when you fuck them up the ass.