There was once a Indian and an Pakistani who lived next door to each other. The Indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up ne of his hen's eggs for breakfast. One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Pakistani pick up the egg. The Indian ran up to the Pakistani andtold him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Pakistani dis agreed because the egg was laid on his property. They argued for a while until finaly the Indian said, “In my family we normaly solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, whomever gets up quicker wins the egg.” The Pakistani agreed to this and so the Indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Pakistani and kicked as hard as he could in the balls. The Pakistani fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes. Eventually the Pakistani stood up and said, “Now it's my turn to kick you.” The Indian said, “Keep the damn egg!”

—–

In a party one of Zail Singh's friends asked him How many chappathis he could eat in an empty stomach. Zail replied “Seven ”. Then his friend told him “When U eat the first chappathi your stomach is no longer empty .. Then how can U eat seven ??”. Zai l was impressed by this tricky question. So as soon as he went bac k home he asked his wife “ How many chappathis can you eat in an emp ty stomach ??”. She replied “Five”. Then Zail told “ Shit!! If only you had told seven I had a nice reply for it”

—–

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, “It's a lot of money!” After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!). The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, “$165,000!” and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, “Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?” The old lady replied, “I make bets.” The president then asked, “Bets? What kind of bets?” The old woman said,“Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square.” “Ha!” laughed the president, “That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!” The old lady challenged, “So, would you like to take my bet?” “Sure,” said the president, “I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!” The little old lady then said, “Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 am as a witness?” “Sure!” replied the confident president. The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: “$25,000 says the president's balls are square!” The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them. “Well, Okay,” said the president, “$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure.” Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, “What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?” She replied, “Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 am today, I'd have The Bank of Canada's president's balls in my hand.

—–

A beautiful young woman gets out of the shower, wraps a towel around her, and tells her husband that he can get in the shower. As he enters the shower, the doorbell rings. The wife says she'll get the door and goes downstairs. When she opens the door, she sees her neighbor Jerry, whose mouth opens wide at the sight of her shimmering form. He pulls out two new hundred dollar bills and tells her that they are hers if she will just let the towel fall to her waist. She thinks why not and drops the towel down and takes the money. Jerry gasps at the sight and shows her two more hundreds and offers them if she will just let the towel go altogether. She figures she's come this far, so what the heck, and drops the towel to the ground. Jerry looks for a minute, thanks her and leaves. When she goes back upstairs, her husband has completed his shower and asks her who was at the door. She says ”Just Jerry.“ The husband replies, ”Did he say anything about the $400 he owes me?"