Some translations for the non-english: “polo” = a mint, “smartie” = a round coloured chocolate tablet (like M&M's), “humbug” = a stripey boiled sweet, “tune” = a cough sweet)


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One day, a Smartie and a Polo were enjoying a quiet drink in a bar. The bar door opened, and in walked a Humbug.

“Oh Shit” shouted the Polo, diving underneath the table.

“What are you doing?” said the Smartie.

“That humbug always slaps me and bullies me whenever I see him, so I'm hiding” said the Polo.

“You should stand up to him” said the Smartie. “He'll respect you if you do”

Sure enough, the humbug walks over and gives the Polo a smack.

“Piss off you stripey twat, or I'll knock you out” said Polo.

“Na, no problem Polo mate, leave it” said Humbug.

Next night Polo & Smartie are sitting in the bar, when Humbug walks in with his friend, Tune.

“Oh shit” shouted Polo, diving underneath the table.

“What are you doing?” shouted Smartie,

“I know you told me to stand up to bullies, but he's with Tune” said Polo.

“So?” said Smartie.

“He's fucking menthol” said Polo.


<br><br>Vectro

“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.”