The other night I was invited out for a night with the guys. I told my wife that I would be home by midnight… “promise!”

Well, the hours passed quickly and the beer was going down way too easy. At 3am, drunk as a skunk, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, I realised she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for having such a rapid, witty solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.

The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her 12 o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Got away with that one, I thought!

Then she told me we needed a new cuckoo clock.

When I asked her why she said “well, last night it cuckooed 3 times, then said, ‘oh f**k,’ cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted.”

Oh well…

<br><br>Vectro

“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.”