A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:“Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the
food shortage in the rest of the world?”
The survey was a huge failure…
In Africa they didn't know what “food” meant.
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what “honest” meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what “shortage” meant.
In China they didn't know what “opinion” meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what “solution” meant.
In South America they didn't know what “please” meant.
And in the USA they didn't know what “the rest of the world” meant



I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm.
And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass.
Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat.
The girl started crying and left class.



A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.