Hér fann ég nokkra brandara á netinu um bassaleikara. Þetta er þess vegna bara svona C/P af hinum og þessum síðum. Ég mun samt geta af hvaða síðum ég fékk brandarana neðst.
The annoying drums:
This guy goes on vacation to a tropical island. As soon as he gets off the plane, he hears drums. He thinks “Wow, this is cool.” He goes to the beach, he hears the drums, he eats lunch, he hears drums, he goes to a luau, he hears drums. He tries to go to sleep, yet he hears drums.
This goes on for several nights, and gets to the point where the guy can't sleep at night because of the drums. Finally, he goes down to the front desk.
When he gets there, he asks the manager, “Hey! What's with these drums. Don't they ever stop? I can't get any sleep.”
The manager says, “No! Drums must never stop. It's very bad if drums stop.”
“Why?”
“When drums stop…bass solo begins.”
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Two guys are sitting at the end of the bar. One turns to the other and introduces himself: “Salutations, my name is Konrad and my I.Q. is 315.” The other returns: “Well met, my name is Stanislaw and my I.Q. is 307. What is your opinion of protoid bombarded cryospheric power fields?” Meanwhile, at the other end of the bar, two other fellows meet. The first says: “Wow, nice bar. Hi, I'm Bob and my I.Q. is 31!” The other replies: “31? Mine's only 28! What kind of bass strings do you use?”
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A scientific expedition disembarks from its plane at the final outpost of civilization in the deepest Amazon rain forest. They immediately notice the ceaseless thrumming of native drums. As they venture further into the bush, the drums never stop, day or night, for weeks. The lead scientist asks one of the natives about this, and the native's only reply is “Drums good. Drums never stop. Very bad if drums stop.” The drumming continues, night and day, until one night, six weeks into the trip, when the jungle is suddenly silent. Immediately the natives run screaming from their huts, covering their ears. The scientists grab one boy and demand “What is it? The drums have stopped!” The terror-stricken youth replies “Yes! Drums stop! Very bad!” The scientists ask “Why? Why? What will happen?” Wide-eyed, the boy responds, “ . . . BASS SOLO!!!”
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There was a poor ragged bass guitarist panhandling for spare change on a street corner. One day someone came by and threw a brass lamp into his guitar case.
Upon rubbing the lamp, a genie appeared and offered the bass player three wishes. “I wish I was a better musician”, said the bass man. Next thing he knew he was in a band that was cutting its first CD and had a loyal following.
He was pretty happy, but he wanted more. “I wish I was an even better musician”, said the bassist. Before long he was playing on an extended world tour in front of tens of thousands of adoring fans. He was ecstatic, but he wanted even more.
“Genie”, he said, “make me an even BETTER musician!” Poof! He found himself standing on his old street corner . . . playing drums.
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Q - Why do bands have bass players?
A - To translate for the drummer.
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Q - What's the definition of a bass player?
A - Halfway between a drummer and a musician.
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Q - What's the difference between a bass player and a Duracell battery?
A - The Duracell battery has a good life.
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A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, “So, what did you learn?”
“Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string.” Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, “This time I learned the first five notes on the A string.” One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: “Hey, what happened in today's lesson?” “Dad, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to my lesson; I had a gig!”
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Q. Why don't bass players play hide and seek?
A. Because no one will look for them.
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Q. Why is there so little solo repertoire for the string bass?
A. Misery loves company.
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AF SÍÐUNUM:
http://home.att.net/~drums01/jokes.html
http://www.users.bigpond.com/prodigalson/bass.htm
http://www.hueymcdonald.com/bassjokes.htm
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Hugi notar vefkökur til að bæta notendaupplifun á vefsíðunni og greina umferð um hana.
Einnig hefur Hugi uppfært persónuverndarstefnu sína.