A chap comes home with some multi-flavored condoms to spice up the
long winter nights. He comes in, throws off his coat, and announces it
to his missus, who becomes immediately excited. Without a word, she
grabs him by the nuts and drags him upstairs. He jumps into bed, and
she runs off to the bathroom to powder her nose.
While he is lying in the bed, hands behind his head, the wife comes
in. She strips at the foot of the bed and slides up under the bedding
and starts playing the pink oboe.

Suddenly, she lifts the bedding and says to her husband “Mmmmm, cheese
and onion?”

To which he replies, “No, hang on a minute. I haven't put one on yet!”