One day, Peter dies and finds himself in hell.
As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with Satan.

Satan: Why so glum, chum?
Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell.
Satan: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a
drinkin' man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Satan: Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we
do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers. We drink ‘til we
throw up and then we drink some more.
Guy: Gee, that sounds great.
Satan: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it.
Satan: Alright! You’re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from
around the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, it's okay…
you're already dead.
Guy: No kidding!
Satan: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
Satan: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack,
horse races, you name it. We even opened up a pai gow poker table.
Guy: Hmmm, I never played pai gow before…
Satan: Well now you can. You like to watch porn?
Guy: Yes, I love porn. You don't mean…
Satan: That's right! Thursday is porn day. Thousands of porn movies,
magazines, and strippers!!
Guy: yeah! I never realized that hell was such a swingin' place!
Satan: You gay?
Guy: Uh, no. Satan: Too Bad. You're gonna hate Fridays.