A guy boards a train bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his
seat. He immediately notices that the guy next to him has a
deeply bruised, black eye. “Heck, what a coincidence! We both
have black eyes! Mind if I ask how you got yours?”

“Well,” explains the man, “I was at the ticket counter and this
gorgeous blonde with beautiful breasts was behind the counter.
When I asked to purchase a ticket to Pittsburgh, I accidentally
blurted out ‘I’d like a picket to Tittsburgh' and so she sucker-
punched me!” The man continues, “What's your story?”

The other guy explains, “I was at the breakfast table and I
meant to say to my wife, ‘Please pour me a bowl of Wheaties,’
but I accidentally said, ‘You ruined my life you stupid bitch.’”