Flashlight… A case for holding dead batteries.
Husband… Proof that women have a sense of humor.
Mother… A travel agent for guilt trips.
Teacher… A person who knows things you could care
less about.
Death… Life's way of telling you that you're fired.
Bacteria… The only culture some people have.
Happiness… You're mother-in-law's picture on a milk
carton.
Bigamy… One wife too many. Monogamy… same thing.
Dime… A Dollar with all the taxes taken out.
A.A.A.A.A… An organization for drunks who drive.
Multitasking… Screwing up several things at once