On a very cold, snowy Sunday in February, only the
pastor and one
farmer arrived at the village church. The pastor said,
“Well,
I guess we won't have a service today.” The farmer
replied: “Heck,
if even only one cow shows up at feeding time, I feed
it.”

During a children's sermon, Rev. Larry Eisenberg asked
the children
what “Amen” means. A little boy raised his hand and
said: “It means
'Tha-tha-tha- that's all folks!'”

A student was asked to list the 10 Commandments in
any order. His
answer? “3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7.”

I was at the beach with my children when my four-year-old
son ran up to
me, grabbed my hand, and led me to the shore, where
a sea gull lay dead
in the sand. “Mommy, what happened to him?” the little
boy asked. “He
died and went to Heaven,” I replied. My son thought
a moment and then
said, “And God threw him back down?”

Bill Keane, creator of the Family Circus cartoon strip
tells of a
time when he was penciling one of his cartoons and
his son Jeffy said,
“Daddy, how do you know what to draw?” I said, “God
tells me.” Jeffy
said, “Then why do you keep erasing parts of it?”


My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table,
she turned to
our six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like
to say the
blessing?”

I wouldn't know what to say,“ she replied. ”Just say
what you hear Mommy
say,“ my wife said. Our daughter bowed her head and
said: ”Dear Lord,
why on earth did I : invite all these people to dinner?"