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Osama bin Laden and one of his followers were riding on a camel when they stopped at a small town. Bin Laden gets off the camel and lifts up its tail and looks at the camel's butt, just then a guy comes over and says, “What are you doing?”
Osama replies, “About 2 miles back I heard someone say, ‘Hey, look at the two assholes on that camel.


What’s the most famous coffee in Afghanistan?
Osama bin Latte


George W. Bush and Osama bin Laden are having a conversation via Al Jazeera television. Bin Laden tells George Bush, ”There is no point of engaging in further war. I can see total peace in the future!“
George Bush replies, ”Oh yeah and tell me what you see?“
Osama answers, ”I can see New York, with new great buildings on one side and beautiful new buildings on the other side, and everything is peaceful and wonderful.“
George Bush says, ”Wow is that what you see? Well I'll tell ya what I see for the future of Afghanistan… I see a house here, a house there, a small building here and small building there, but there are signs hanging in the middle of the street.“
Osama asks, ”And what do they say?“
George answers, ”Hell, I don't know. I can't read Hebrew!


Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives?
Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.


Why don't the members of Al Qaeda go out to bars?
Because they can get bombed at home.


What's the national bird of Afghanistan?
DUCK!!!


Do you know how we can get Osama bin Laden?
Lace a bunch of Watchtower magazines with anthrax and send the Jehovah Witnesses in after him. Those people can find anybody!


How does Osama bin Laden practice safe sex?
He marks the camels that kick.


Why did Osama bin Laden cross the road?
He didn't. They don't have roads.


Osama bin Laden threatened Russia:
If you get caught up in this war… I'll hide from you too!


What is Osama bin Laden's favorite football team?
The New York Jets!


My answer to “What to do with Bin Laden?”
Well, this sounds good to me. It would be true poetic justice:


Killing him will only create a martyr.
Holding him prisoner will inspire his comrades to take hostages to demand his release.
Therefore, I suggest we do neither.
Let the Secret Service, Navy Seals, or whomever
covertly capture him, fly him to an undisclosed hospital,
and have surgeons quickly perform a complete sex change operation.
Then we return “her” to Afghanistan
to live as a woman under the Taliban.


What's the difference between bin Laden and Aladdin?
Aladdin had 3 wishes and bin Laden only has 1 - a death wish.


What do Osama bin Laden and Custer have in common?
They both wondered where all those tomahawks were coming from.


How do you stop a Taliban tank?
Shoot the guy pushing it!


Why did Osama bin Laden visit Mount Sinai?
He wanted to see the burning Bush.


What do bin Laden and Fred Flintstone have in common?
They both look out of their caves and see Rubble.


What do you call Osama bin Laden buried up to his neck in sand?
Not enough sand.


Three guys: a Canadian, Osama bin Laden, and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it.
“I will give each of you each one wish. That's three wishes total,” says the genie.
The Canadian says, “I'm a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada.”
With a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.
Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, “I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews, or Americans can come into our precious state.”
Again, with a blink of the genie's eye, *POOF* there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.
“Uncle Sam” (A former civil engineer), asks, “I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.”
The Genie explains, “Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick, and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out - it's virtually impenetrable.”
Uncle Sam says, “Fill it with water.”