* Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others.

* Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, “Does this taste funny to you?”

* Consistently write three atoms of potassium as ‘KKK.’

* Mutter repeatedly, “Not again… not again… not again.”

* When it's very quiet, suddenly cry out, “My eyes!”

* Deny the existence of chemicals.

* Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly the way he/she says it.

* Casually walk to the front of the room and urinate in a beaker. Especially effective for female students.

* Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the professor is about to pour the sulfuric acid.

* Show up with a 55-gallon drum of fertilizer and express an interest in federal buildings.