Did you ever stop to wonder what would happen if your dog's name was Penis?

* My Penis ate my homework.
* Oh, no! My Penis is frothing at the mouth!
* Sorry I'm late. I was playing with my Penis.
* I'm sorry, Officer. I didn't realize I had to keep my Penis on a leash.
* My Penis doesn't come when I call it.
* My Penis likes to crawl between the legs of guests.
* I love giving my Penis a bath.
* At night, I sleep with my Penis in my hands.
* My Penis likes it when people pet him.
* My Penis needs to get more exercise. He weighs over fifty pounds.
* Playing with my Penis really wears me out.
* Would you like to see a picture of my Penis?
* Sometimes I wake up, and my Penis is already active.
* I think my Penis has a mind of its own.
* I keep a picture of my Penis in my wallet.
* Whenever I get lost, my Penis points me in the right direction.
* I think my Penis is getting old because he won't get excited anymore. He just plays dead.
* My Penis got out last night. I think he's sleeping with the lady next door.
* If my Penis was a weinerdog, he would be long and hairy and hard to carry.
* My Penis loves to chase pussies in dark alleys.
* Help! I can't find my Penis!
* Sorry to be driving so slow, officer, but I was looking for my Penis.
* My Penis gets excited whenever the mailman comes.
* Sorry to be driving so fast, officer. I have to take my Penis to the hospital.
* Oh. no! Something bit my Penis!
* Watch it or you'll step on my Penis.
* Stop kicking my Penis.

* My Penis is truly man's best friend.
* Beware of my Penis. He's carrying a disease.
* People say my Penis looks cute lying down, but even better when standing at attention.
* My Penis: the crotch-sniffer.
* There's nothing like a well-trained bitch for my Penis.
* I've trained my Penis to jump through hoops.
* My Penis always searches for an open hand under the dinner table.
* Excuse me, I need a muzzle for my Penis.
* Sorry I'm late, but my Penis kept me up howling all night.