These aren't your father's cigars … or your mother's, for that matter.

*When's the last time you had a good stiff Cuban?

*Because size really does matter.

*The bigger the hole, the bigger we roll.

*Available in small, medium, and donkey sizes.

*The “fun-to-put-in” carcinogen!

*New ribs for her pleasure. (oops.. that was for condoms)

*After a strokin' it's still good for smokin'.

*Long enough for a man, but made for a woman.

*Won't leave a mess all over her dress!

*All the flavor of a fine Cuban cigar…with the pungent aroma of a tuna canning factory!

*These won't go floppy in your mouth.

*The best thing you'll ever find in a box.

*Melts in your mouth, not in her muff!

*Cigars… they're not just for oral pleasure any more.

*Batteries not included.