Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.

“Where do you live?” asked the operator. Bubba replied, “At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.” The operator asked, “Can you spell that for me?”

There was a long pause and finally Bubba said… “How ‘bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?”

———–

Two americans were walking through Leicester but couldn’t agree on how to pronounce it so they decided to stop for lunch and ask the waitress.

They sat down to eat their lunch and called the waitress over:
“Can you tell us where we are please but say it slowly”,
to which the waiteress replied “Bur-ger Ki-ng”

——–

What do Chinese people name their retarded children?

Som Ting Wong

———-

An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site.

The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, “You're in charge of sweeping.”
To the Irishman he says “You're in charge of shovelling.”
To the Chinese guy, “You're in charge of supplies.”

He then says “Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile.”

So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, but when he returns the pile of sand is untouched.

He says to the Italian: “Why didn't you sweep any of it!?”
The Italian replies in a heavy accent, “I no gotta broom, an' you tella me dat de Chinese'a guy supposa bringa da supplies, but he disappear and I no finda him.”

Then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel. The Irishman replies in his heavy brogue, “Aye, ye did lad, but I counna get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinese guy in charge of supplies, but I counna fin' him.”

The foreman is really angry now, and storms off toward the pile of sand looking for the Chinese guy.

Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells…

!!“Supplies”!!

———

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim were having a discussion about who was the most religious.

“I was riding my camel in the middle of the Sahara,” exclaimed the Muslim. Suddenly a fierce sandstorm appeared from nowhere. I truly thought my end had come as I lay next to my camel while we being buried deeper and deeper under the sand. But I did not lose my faith in the Almighty Allah, I prayed and prayed and suddenly, for a hundred metres all around me, the storm had stopped. Since that day I am a devout Muslim and am now learning to recite the Koran by memory.“

”One day while fishing,“ started the Christian,” I was in my little dinghy in the middle of the ocean. Suddenly a fierce storm appeared from nowhere. I truly thought my end had come as my little dinghy was tossed up and down in the rough ocean. But I did not lose my faith in Jesus Christ, I prayed and prayed and suddenly, for 300 metres all around me, the storm had stopped. Since that day I am a devout Christian and am now teaching young children about Him.“

”One day I was walking down the road,“ explained the Jew,” I was in my most expensive designer outfit in the middle of New York city. Suddenly I saw a black bag on the ground in front of me appear from nowhere. I put my hand inside and found a million dollars in cash. I truly thought my end had come as it was a Saturday and we are not allowed to handle money on Saturdays. But I did not lose my faith in Jehova, I prayed and prayed and suddenly, for 500 metres all around me, it was Tuesday… “

————

An Irishman walks out of a pub, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand.

A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, ”Can I help you lad?“
”Yesh, Shombody shtole me car!“, the Irishman replies.

The cop asks, ”Well now, where was your car last time you saw it?“
”It was at the end of this key.“

About this time the cop looks down to see that the Irishman's member is being exhibited for all to see. He then asks, ”Are you aware that you are exposing yourself?“

The Irishman looks down woefully and moans ”OOH GOD… they got me girl too!“

———-

A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his
arm. His friend Doug stops him and asks, ”Hey Bob! Whacha get the
case of beer for?“ ”I got it for my wife, eh.“ answers Bob. ”Oh!“
exclaims Doug, ”Good trade!"

———-