WHY, I OUGHTA: Mall security officers in Colma, Calif., called police when they spotted two men trying to break into a locked car with a coat hanger. Investigating officers say they found that John Mack, 50, and Charles Mitchell, 44, had been stealing from stores and came out to their getaway car to find that they had locked their keys inside.
Police Chief Bruce Tognetti told reporters that the two were “being stupid in public. It's almost like watching The Three Stooges. But instead, there's just two of them.” (San Mateo County Times) …Typical crooks: they can't get ANYTHING right.


ANCIENT ARTIFACSIMILES: Dropping water levels in the South Saskatchewan River near Medicine Hat, Alberta, Canada, revealed a rock formation that a local Indian group said could have “spiritual meaning” for native cultures. But after photos of the formation were printed in newspapers, Sara Burd came forward to refute the claims. “That's not an ancient Indian burial site,” she said, her dad built it “because my mother left him and he had a broken heart.” Meanwhile, Sweden's Bohuslan Museum's display of a “500-year-old stone labyrinth” was revealed to be the work of two 11-year-old boys. Thomas Karlen showed museum researcher Kersting Olson how he and a friend made the labyrinth in 1974 during a vacation to the island of Makholmen after being inspired by a similar labyrinth in another museum. (Medicine Hat News, PA) …Which was also probably built by a couple of bored kids.