A little rabbit was running through the woods, and he came upon and elephant that was doing cocaine.

The rabbit said to the elephant, “Elephant Elephant, my dear wonderful friend elephant, put down your cocaine. You will not find love, or the answers to lifes questions with that disgusting cocaine. what you need is to run in the woods with me, lose yourself in the run. It will all be clear to you when you run.”

the elephant, looks at the rabbit, then his cocaine, tosses his razor and straw down and says, “OK rabbit, i will run with you let us run let us run.”

so the two take off running through the woods and they come upon a giraffe doing heroin.

the rabbit says to the giraffe, “giraffe, giraffe, my wy dear wonderful friend, put down that heroin, you will not find love or the answers to lifes questions with that harmful heroin. what you need is to run in the woods with me, lose yourself in the run. It will all be clear to you when you run.”

so the giraffe looks down at the rabbit then his heroin, tosses his spoon and needle down and says OK rabbit I wil run with you let us run let us run

so the three of them go running through the woods and they come upon a lion smoking a joint.

the rabbit says to the lion, “lion lion, my dear wonderful friend lion put the joint down, you will not find love or the answers to lifes questions with that marijuana what you need is to run in the woods with me, lose yourself in the run. It will all be clear to you when you run.”

so the lion looks at the rabbit, takes a big hit off his joint, and proceeds to beat the living shit out of the rabbit.

when the giraffe and elephant cry out for the lion to stop the lion says, "fuck that stupid rabbit, everytime he does ecstacy he makes me run around the woods with him for three fucking hours.

Þessi er úr bókinni Dirty, Sick, X-rated & Politically Incorrect JOKES



Two young men were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared before the judge on Friday.

The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. This will determine if you stay out of jail or not. I'll see you back here in court Monday morning.”

Monday morning, the two guys were back in court, and the judge asked the 1st guy, “How did you do over the weekend?”

“Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever.”

“17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?”

“I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this…

And told them this (pointing to the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (pointing to the small circle) is your brain after drugs.”

“That's admirable,” said the judge. “And you, how did you do?” (referring to the 2nd guy)

“Well, your honor I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever.”

“156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that!”

“Well, I used a similar approach. (drawing two circles)

”I said, [pointing to the small circle] this is your asshole before prison……"