WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you
wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major
factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause
you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you
to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you
to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
think you can logically converse with other
members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting
in you getting your butt kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause
you to roll over in the morning and see something
really scary.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading
cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the
illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and
better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to
believe you are invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to
think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy