He said/ she said:

He said… Want a quickie?
She said…As opposed to what?

He said… I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got
nothing to put in it.
She said…You wear briefs, don't you?

He said… Do you love me just because my father left
me a fortune?
She said…Not at all honey, I would love you no
matter who left you the money.

She said…“I won the lottery! Five million dollars.
Whoo-ee-start packing!”
He said… “That's great!!! What should I pack?”
She said…“Whatever you want, just be out of the
house by the time I get there”

He said… “This coffee isn't fit for a pig!”
She said…“No problem, I'll get you some that is.”

She said…What do you mean by coming home half drunk?
He said… It's not my fault honey…I ran out of money.

He said… Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted
to make love to you in the worst way.
She said…Well, you succeeded.

He said… ‘If you only could learn to make me a
proper meal, then we could manage without the cook.
And if you cleaned the house, we could fire the
maid as well.’
She said…'Darling, if you only could learn to
love me properly we could do without the gardener
and the milkman too'

Priest… ‘I don’t think you will ever find another
man like your late husband.'
She said…'Who's gonna look?'

He said… You have a flat chest and need to shave
your legs, have you ever been mistaken for a man?
She said…No, have you?

He said… Why do you women always try to impress us
with your looks, not with your brains?
She said…Because there is a bigger chance that a man
is a moron than he is blind.

He said… What have you been doing with all the
grocery money I gave you?
She said…Turn sideways and look in the mirror.

He said… Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
She said…Okay, but if you get home before I do,
leave the hallway light on.

He said… Why don't you tell me when you have an
orgasm?
She said…I would, but you're never there.

He said… “Shall we try a different position
tonight?”
She said…“That's a good idea…. you stand by the
ironing board while I sit on the sofa and watch TV.”