What did the blonde's mom say to her before she went out?
If you're not in bed by midnight, come home.

What is a blonde's mating call?
“I'm so drunk!”

What's a blondes idea of natural childbirth?
No make-up.

What does a blonde make for dinner?
Reservations.

Why did the blonde have square boobs?
Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

Did you hear about the blonde who got locked in the bathroom?
She was in there so long, she peed her pants.

How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
Three…one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.

Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
It took her a month to realize she could play it at night…

How did the blonde burn her nose?
Bobbing for french fries.

What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
Change.

Why do blondes write TGIF on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid?
They can't get eight cups of water into that little packet.

Why did the blonde only change her baby's Pampers twice a month?
Because the box said “for 18 to 24 pounds.”

What's the advantage of being married to a blonde?
You can park in the handicapped zone.

What do you call eight blondes in a freezer?
Frosted flakes.

What did the blonde say when she got pregnant?
“Gee, I hope it's mine.”

Why was the blonde excited when she finished the jigsaw puzzle in six months?
Because the box said 4 to 6 years.

What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted.

A blonde looked at her drivers license and got depressed when she saw that she got an “F” in sex.

Why was the blonde guy arrested for indecent exposure?
Someone asked him to count to eleven.

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
Pregnant.

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave.