On a tour of England the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the
north
west coast. His 4 x 4 Pope-Mobile was driving along the goldensands when
there was an enormous commotion. They rushed to see what it was and upon
approaching the scene the Pope noticed just outside the surf, a hapless
man
wearing a Liverpool football jersey, struggling to free himself from the
jaws of a 20 foot shark !!!

At that moment a speedboat containing three men wearing Manchester
United
tops roared into view. Spontaneously, one of the men took aim at the
shark
and fired a harpoon into it's ribs, immobilising it instantly. The other
two
reached out and pulled the Liverpool fan from the water and then, using
long
clubs, beat the shark to death.

They bundled the bleeding, semi - concious man into the boat along with
the
dead shark and prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic
calling
from the shore………….. It was the Pope, summoning them to the
beach.

Upon reaching land, the Pope went into raptures about the rescue and
said “I
give you my blessing for your brave actions. I'd heard there were
racist,
xenophobic people trying to divide the people of Britain but now I have
seen
with my own eyes this is not true”. “I can see your society is a truly
enlightened example of tribal harmony which could serve as a model for
other
nations”.

He blessed them all and drove off. As he departed, the harpoonist asked
the
others “Who was that ?!”

“That,” one answered “was his Holiness the Pope. He is in direct contact
with God and has access to all God's wisdom”

“Well,” the harpoonist replied, “he knows f**k all about shark fishing.
How's the bait holding up or do we need to get another one???”