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Q: What happens when you burn baby's face off?
A: It makes weird noises and crawls into walls.


Q: What is red and pink and can't turn round in a corridor?
A: A baby with a javelin through its throat.

Q: What's purple, covered in pus and squeals?
A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

Q: What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller?
A: A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!


Q: Why did the baby fall off the swing?
A: Because it had no arms or legs.

Q: What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals?
A: A bus load of babies on fire.

Q: What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals?
A: A bus load of babies on fire.

Q: What's harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree?
A: Nailing it to a dead puppy.

Q: What's grosser than ten dead babies nailed to a tree?
A: One dead baby nailed to ten trees.

Q: What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ?
A: Crib death. (vöggudauði)

Q: What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding?
A: A baby in a microwave.

Q: How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
A: With a blender!

Q: How do you get them out again?
A: With Doritos!!

Q: What is pink and red and sits in a corner?
A: A baby chewing on razor blades.

Q: What is green and sits in a corner?
A: The same baby, six weeks later.

Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
A: You don't cry when you chop up a dead baby.


Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
A: Deep Throat.

Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: Take your foot off of it's head.