Chicken Soup for the Beer Drinkers Soul:

1. I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in
the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. –
Frank Sinatra

2. Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel
ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in
the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink
this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be
shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this
beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about
my liver.” Jack Handy

3. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend
time with his fools. Ernest Hemingway

4. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. –
Henny Youngman

5. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? –
Stephen Wright

6. When we drink, we get buzzed. When we get buzzed, we fall
asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no
sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
Brian O'Rourke

7. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. –
Benjamin Franklin

8. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of
mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine
invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. –
Dave Barry

9. Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!

10. Remember “I” before “E”, except in Budweiser.

11. To some it's a six-pack; to me it's a Support Group.

12. Helping white men dance forever.