Ég fékk þetta sent í pósti, varð að deila þessu :)

Þetta er á ensku, afsaka það, því það er ekki hægt að þýða:

Að minni sögn eru þetta allt afsakanir sem kennara fengu afhentar frá nemendum / foreldrum.


My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today.
Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

Irvine was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a
weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
———-

Svo er einn þýddur:

Það voru einu sinni Rússi, Bandaríkjamaður og íslendingur sem voru að metast….
Rússinn sagði: Við eigum svo marga kafbáta að ef þeir kæmu allir úr kafi í einu þá sæist ekki i sjóinn svo langt sem augað eygði! Issss sagði Bandaríkjamaðurinn… Þetta er nú ekkert, við eigum svo margar herþotur að ef þær tækju allar á loft í einu þá myndu þær þekja himininn út allann sjóndeildarhringinn í allar áttir! Íslendingurinn sagði þá.. ég er með svo stórt tippi ad það geta 16 spörfuglar setið á því þegar mér stendur!
Nú urðu Rússinn og Kaninn dálítið undarlegir á svipinn og Rússinn sagði: Ja.. Það er nú kannski ekki alveg rétt það sem ég sagði áðan með kafbátana… Það sést reyndar aðeins í sjóinn á milli kafbátanna þegar þeir koma úr kafi… og Kaninn sagði já ég var einnig að ýkja… Það sést dálítið í himininn þegar vélarnar eru á lofti. Þá sagði Íslendingurinn: Ja.. ég verð víst að viðurkenna að þegar spörfuglarnir 16 sitja á tippinu á mér þá er aðeins bil á milli þeirra.

Kv.

Pex