Women's Advice

ekki móðgast þetta er bara brandari!
(What Men Ought To Know…)

1The reason why our bras don't always match our under wear is because WE actually change our underwear.

2The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet bowl.

3If the truth hurts, ask us those ego-sensitive questions on your payday.

4Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.

5Don't fret if you find out that the milkman delivers more than once a day.

6No, we're not impressed with your car…it takes no special skills to make car payments each month.

7Please don't drive when you're not driving.

8Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime…Thank-you.

9Our bedtime headaches are inversely proportional to the number of baths you take.

10If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn't ask in bed.

11We don't care if you hold the remote…unlike you however, we don't enjoy watching 117 different programs in 5 minutes.

12The next time you joke about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubber-necking mini-skirts.

13If only women gossip, how do you and your friends keep track of “who's easy”?

14Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: We don't care.

15When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.

16Start parting and combing your hair to one side early in life… you'll never see the ‘island’ coming.

17We don't mind if you look in the mirror to check your appearance… in fact, PLEASE DO!

18Have a strong need for male bonding? Visit your proctologist.

19Your contributions to your child should go above and beyond that y chromosome you unselfishly sacrificed.

20When you're out with us, please wear “our” favorite outfit rather than “yours”…the torn jeans and dirty t-shirts will last longer that way.

21If you must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive versus a negative grunt.

22Don't insist that we “get off the damn phone” and then not talk to us…WHAT'S THE POINT?!?!

23Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.

24Your balding is a good thing… it subsidizes our hair care expenses.

25Some women actually know more about a car and the mechanics involved than you do.

26Cleaning the house is not necessarily “women's work”; besides, most of the “dirt” and clutter is yours anyway.

27Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then you never want to cook?

28We go to the ladies room in groups to talk about you.

29Yes, we know you can probably beat us arm wrestling; however, very few raises or promotions were gained by arm wrestling the boss for one.

30Just Face It…You Need Me More Than I Need You.


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