These three guys are out fishing, and when they get back to their truck, they see it's surrounded by three bears:

“OK guys, I figure the only way to get to the truck is to really piss these bears off. Then they'll leave and we can go home. So Ed, you take the one on the left, the little cub with the broken leg, and I'll take the one in the middle, the little cub with one eye and a hurt paw, and Joe, you take the one on the right, the huge silvertip mama grizzly bear with blood-encrusted claws, the big teeth, and froth around the mouth”

“Hey, man wait a sec, I'm supposed to get this monster pissed off, and you guys get the cubs? That's not fair!”

“Now, now, Joe. We all have our bears to cross.”

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Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a pretty good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time.

After 3 years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community, and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.

The warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done much of the work himself. But he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top which he had promised his wife. So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job for him. But Andy refused. He told the warden, “I'd really like to help you but counter fitting is what got me into prison in the first place.”
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