Jæja, hér kemur ein saga…Biðst velvirðingar á öllum málfræðivillum sem þið eigið eftir að finna í þessari annars indælu sögu. Hún var skrifuð í miklum flýti og ég var bara að klára. Njótið vel! :D

Mrs. Norris and her beloved childhood friend Mr. Peeves were enjoying a cup of tea in a rather cosy dungeon one lovely afternoon. The reason for this sudden tea party was the anniversary of delightful event that had taken place 50 years ago when Mrs. Norris and Mr. Peeves were young and had a little more hair.

‘Aaah, good old times,’ said Mr. Peeves and sighed. Mrs. Norris, who was suddenly able to talk smirked and said to Mr. Peeves ‘Yes, my dear friend, these were most defiantly the best days of our lives. I often find myself wondering why we gave up on our villainous lives. A few years more in the business and we would have been the best. What a shame, my friend, what a shame’
‘Yes, you are certainly right; we were quite the double act! Our schemes were the most out-thought and brilliant of all. And maybe we ought to have stayed in the business but you know as well as I do that we both had our reasons to quit and head home for a more settled-down life,’ Peeves said firmly but Mrs. Norris could hear a distant hunger for adventure in her friend’s voice. There was a long silent which would not have been broken for another hour or so if there hadn’t been for the crack in the ceiling and the mysterious boy falling down from the ceiling on their table, more accurately, on their carefully laid tablecloth. Bummer!

Both Mrs. Norris and Mr. Peeves were so startled of the sudden income of the red-haired boy that they dropped their rye-crisp bread and fell off their chairs, Mrs. Norris screaming and Mr. Peeves speechless. It was quite a scene, I might add!

The red-haired boy stood up and started to brush dust from his hair, revealing that his hair was even redder than the double act had thought at first. Mrs. Norris and Mr. Peeves stared at the very, very much indeed red-haired boy and the boy stared back at them. There was a very unpleasant moment of silence but after unbelievably short time the silence was yet again broken, now by another boy falling down the hole in the ceiling, this time a dark-haired boy, who was followed by a brown haired girl and shortly afterwards there was also a red-haired girl in the dungeon. But then, all of a sudden the author of this story realised that she was only allowed to have two people from the same dormitory in the story so the two girls, who had appeared like bolts from the blue, few moments ago disappeared faster than you can say I love Hummus! This whole scene was only to make the former villains, Mrs. Norris and Mr. Peeves even more shocked than they had been few moments ago. They couldn’t speak but somehow, despite how terrified they were, they had managed to crawl to each other and move to the other side of the dungeon and were now sitting as far away from the two dusty boys as they could.

‘Where are they?’ said the dark-haired boy and looked at the red-haired boy. The red-haired boy turned his head in a circle, which was kind of creepy, and then pointed quietly at the corner where Mrs. Norris and Mr. Peeves were sitting. He didn’t seem to know how to talk. ‘Oh, there they are! Thank you, Ron. I’ll take it from now on. You just have to sit here and do that scary look of yours to keep them quiet. You ok with that?’ said the dark-haired boy. The so called Ron nodded and seemed pleased. Mrs. Norris and Mr. Peeves were so freaked out so when Mr. Dark-hair turned to them they both screamed. Then the Ron looked at them and they understood quite clearly what Mr. Dark-hair had meant by ‘scary look’. They stopped screaming and Mr. Dark-hair spoke. ‘Dear former criminals,’ he said. ‘Yes, I know your true identity,’ he added when he saw how startled they were. ‘As I was saying, I would like to have a nice little conversation with you about a certain painting, owned by a certain headmaster of certain school. Now, to make it all a little bit clearer I’m talking about the Painting of Sir Arthur McDowell, once the property of Mr. Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizards. As you both should know, it was reported missing from his lovely home in Alaska 50 years from now. The thief was never caught but a witness, the Puerto Rican maid told the police she had seen a hairy tail and a transparent hand leave the room when she entered it and found out the painting was missing. Now, when Mr. Dumbledore contacted me and my partner at our office…’ he said and handed them business cards which read ‘Potter and Doyle; Private Detectives.’ ‘…and told us the story we were of course very interested. Mr. Dumbledore was at first worried that to much time had passed but we assured him that that wasn’t an issue and we would find his painting and bring it safely back to him. When Mr. Dumbledore had left our office, me and Mr. Weasley grabbed our pencils and started to write down everything we knew about the case. After two months of research we finally came to the conclusion that this particular robbery had been the act of an organised criminal activity group. This group was formed by two very unlikely allies, a cat and a ghost. We wrote this down and then we spent the next two months searching for a cat and a ghost who could have been partners in crime 50 years earlier. You could not believe how surprised we were when we at last figured out who the unlikely allies were. They had been right in front of Mr. Dumbledore’s nose all these time and he hadn’t suspected anything. When we told Mr. Dumbledore he started to cry because he had thought of these two as his friends. It was quite shocking, both for us and of course, him! Right, Ron?’ Ron, who had been spinning his head stopped it and nodded. ‘We now knew who the vicious criminals were but we hadn’t yet found the painting. So we sat down again and came up with a smashing plan. We decided to monitor everything you said and watch your every movement. This led us to this rather delighting tea party in this cosy dungeon. Now, as an off topic issue, do you have any idea who decorated this dungeon? It’s so cosy! I would love to contact this particular architect as I am right in the middle of re-decorating my kitchen. But anyway, I should get back on track now and finish my awfully exciting story,’ Mr. Dark-hair said to the, now more puzzled then shocked, Mrs. Norris and Mr. Peeves. ‘As we couldn’t find the door to this dungeon we decided to break through the ceiling. We were lucky enough that our dear friend Celine Dion is a former ceiling-breaker so she came at great help,’ he said and pointed at a woman who had, until now, been unnoticed by Mrs. Norris and Mr. Peeves. Celine Dion started to sing a very dramatic song called ‘I Surrender’ which made every one in the cosy dungeon very happy. Then the author realised, again, that she was breaking the rules. Celine Dion was certainly not named in the list of persons allowed in the story so she, like the two girls had before, disappeared. But sadly, for the remaining people, she left in the middle of a powerful chorus! That made every one in the dungeon sad and for a quite a while there was silence. After 5 minutes Mr. Dark-hair spoke again. ‘Well, that was…TOTALLY AWESOME! But that is not important. What is important is that you are obviously guilty as charged and now I want to know two things! Why did you do it? and where is the painting now?’
Again there a silent fell on the crowd but when it started to get overwhelming Mr. Peeves spoke. ‘Mr. Dark-hair, Ron.’ He said and looked towards them. ‘You are certainly right. We did indeed steel that painting.’ Mrs. Norris looked at him with anxiety in her eyes but he gave her a signal to keep quiet. ‘To explain why we did it I would like to begin at the very beginning. There was this one night and I was in a birthday party but I don’t even know how I got there in the first place so I was certainly not supposed to be there. Anyhow, I decided to stay at the party, eat a little, drink a little, have a little fun and then go home. I could never have imagined how much this very night would affect my life. For in this rather delightful birthday party I met Mrs. Norris for the first time. We met at the cake table, and after having made the decision not to have a cake as we both happened to be on a diet, we sat down near the cucumber table and started to talk. We talked and talked and drank and drank and before the night was over we had decided to rob a bank. I don’t have any idea how we came up with that plan but I reckon it was somewhere between the margaritas and the tequila. So instead of going home after the party to get a good night sleep and forget about all the crap we had talked about we went to the nearest bank and robbed it. I still don’t know how we managed to rob a bank. Not that robbing a bank is something you could do blindfolded but we did it so completely wasted that we could barely stand upright without falling. And we got away with it. After that there was no turning back. All the excitement, the adrenalin flow. The feel of joy when you come up with a plan and get it in action. And finally the thrill you get when you succeed! After this robbery we decided a criminal lifestyle was our future lifestyle. We formed a group and called ourselves the transparent hairball! A little silly, I know! You don’t have to tell me. But we found it quite funny at the time. But back to the story. At first we thought we would have to struggle for years before we would nail the pitch, a sentence often used in the business meaning succeeding completely, but after five or six robberies in a row where we nailed the pitch we started to doubt that theory. And when we nailed the pitch in the next six robberies too we realised that this was something extraordinary. We were the perfect team with the perfect plans and we became famous, both in the criminal world and the other. People in both worlds were afraid of us. We were a threat to them. But they did also admire us. Because we were the greatest since Roger and Patricia. And we would have become better than them, there is if we would have stuck to the original plan. That plan was one amazing plan. We were planning to steal the world largest diamond, the one thing Roger and Patricia couldn’t steal, and I am sure we would have gotten away with it if we had just stuck to the plan as I said earlier. Now we were young and still a little stupid so we thought it would be a great practise to break into Mr. Dumbledore’s house in Alaska because like everyone knows, that is probably the most protected house in the world! We thought ‘If we can break in there and get away with it, stealing the diamond will be a child’s game.’ As you probably know by now, we managed to get into the house, steal his painting and run out without being caught. But then something happened inside us that changed us so dramatically that we weren’t able to perform our greatest work the very next day. Mr. Dumbledore was one of our very best friends and after leaving his house with one of his beloved paintings we felt different. There was something inside us and it was eating us alive! It was guilt and we both realised it at the very same moment. It was then when we too, realised we could not be thieves anymore. For great thieves do not feel guilty. That is the first rule in the ‘How do be a Criminal – Guide to success for beginners.’ But it wasn’t just that that made us blow off the crime that would have made us the very, very best. It was also the fact that we had just realised how wrong this was. To steal. And we couldn’t bear to do it again. So we gave up on our criminal lives, took our things and settled down somewhere far away from the noises of the big city. The end,’ Mr. Peeves said and waited for an applaud, which never came, and then looked at Mr. Dark-hair and Mr. Ron as to see if they were satisfied. ‘Well, that was a touching story,’ said Mr. Dark-hair sarcastically. ‘But you still haven’t told us where the painting is NOW!’ ‘Oh, yes, I had forgotten about that. I am sincerely sorry,’ Mr. Peeves said. ‘It is hidden behind Mr. Dumbledore’s armchair in his mansion in South of Wales,’ Mrs. Norris said and started to giggle. ‘Well, I think we got it all now, right Ron?’ Ron nodded. ‘Thank you very much for your time, I’m glad we could sort this out. Very well then, we will be leaving now and we’ll be letting you continue celebrating whatever it is you are celebrating. Huss, huss Ron, we don’t want to bother them any longer,’ Mr. Dark-hair said and pushed Mr. Ron through the whole in the ceiling. When they had gone Mr. Peeves and Mrs. Norris sat down and sighed. ‘Well, I’m glad that is out in the open. Now we don’t have to worry about it anymore,’ Mr. Peeves said. ‘Yes, you are right, my dear friend,’ Mrs. Norris said and smiled. ‘Now, wouldn’t you like to have some more tea, Mr. Peeves? I know I would.’ And they did indeed have some more tea and they spent the rest of the day talking and drinking tea in the very, oh so cosy dungeon while listening to the smooth sound of Celine Dion’s voice coming from a CD’player in the corner. The End

Takk Fyri