SCHUMACHER BUYS FAVORITE PHRASE


Formula 1 ace Michael Schumacher has stunned linguists by buying the phrase ‘to be honest’ at a closed auction last week. The German racer picked up the phrase for an undisclosed sum, believed to be somewhere around £500,000, having already used it several million times in conversation. “Michael loves saying ‘to be honest’,” said a Schumacher spokesman after the auction, “so it was only natural that he made it his own. He tries to say it at least once during every interview because his English teacher said it makes him sound open and straightforward, rather than like a scary, bionic uber-human.” Scholars of English language are less impressed; “I'm not entirely sure that one person can own some words,” noted Professor Mandible Fungicide of Durham University. “Furthermore, the use of this phrase might be taken to imply that everything he's said prior to that moment is a lie,” the professor continued, “although I must admit, he's peerless in the wet.”

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