CNN (Carnage, Narcotics & Nudity)

Blood-drenched battlefields,
Butchered, little baby seals,
“But first a word from our sponsors!”
Royal holiday resorts
Propagated war reports
“Remember, you heard it here first!”

Six-car pile-ups,
New, inventive drinking cups,
“What’ll they think of next?”
Prostitutes legalized,
Families jeopardized,
“Film at eleven!”

Gun-toting gangs are free,
Semi-legal shooting-spree,
“What do you think, Karen?”
New drug sweeps the world,
Kills innocent, little girl
“I don’t think so, Jim.”

Middle-eastern suicide,
President admits he lied,
“So have you heard about the latest trend?”
Animals do clever tricks,
College girl raped by hicks,
“And now the weather report.”

Congressmen are being bribed
While innocents are being fried
“The following footage contains…”
Freakish child born today,
Power companies will not pay,
“…Will answer no further questions.”

Movie star is caught on coke,
Several millions are still broke,
“And here’s Ronnie with an update.”
Scientists can cure the blind,
Media controls your mind
“More of this later, so stay tuned.”