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ummæli Davíðs v/öryrkjamáls (14 álit)

í Deiglan fyrir 23 árum, 9 mánuðum
Davíð Oddsson forsætisráðherra sagði að einn þriggja dómara, sem mynduðu meirihluta Hæstaréttar í Öryrkjamálinu, hefði haft samband við ríkislögmann og sagt ómögulegt að greiða strax út bætur samkvæmt dómnum. Davíð sagði, að þegar kröfur fóru að gerast háværar í kjölfar Hæstaréttardómsins um að Tryggingastofnun greiddi strax út óskertar bætur, án undangenginnar lagasetningar, hefði einn dómaranna úr meirihlutanum sem kvað upp dóminn umdeilda, hringt í ríkislögmann að eigin frumkvæði, og sagt...

afi (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 9 mánuðum
Þegar ég dey þá vona ég að það verði eins og hjá honum afa mínum, að svífa inn í eilífðina í fasta svefni. Þetta er örugglega þægilegra en að yfirgefa þennan heim hræddur og öskrandi eins og hinir farþegarnir í bílnum hjá honum afa.

Buffy the vampire slayer (5 álit)

í Hugi fyrir 23 árum, 9 mánuðum
þetta er óneitanlega eitt sem ætti að vera löngu komið inn á huga. þetta eru snilldar þættir með megabeibum í hverju hlutverki. hvað eru margir margir sem vilja fá þetta áhugamál upp. SPEAK UP =DART= Daemon from hell<BR

Linux server (2 álit)

í Linux fyrir 23 árum, 10 mánuðum
Ég er að lenda í vandræðum með uppsetningu á linux RH 6.2 til að nota sem ADSL server fyrir 4 tölvur er einthver sem hefur reynslu af svona uppsetningu? <BR

Nýtt áhugamál hér á huga (2 álit)

í Quake og Doom fyrir 23 árum, 10 mánuðum
Ég vil fá hér nýtt áhugamál á huga: ScOpE <BR

bolti (8 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 10 mánuðum
By the time Ted arrived at the football game, the first quarter was almost over. “Why are you so late?” his friend asked. “I had to toss a coin to decide between going to church and coming to the game.” “How long could that have taken you?” “Well, I had to toss it 14 times.”

fimmeyringur (6 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 10 mánuðum
Two men were riding on a train for the first time. They brought bananas for lunch. Just as one of them bit into his banana, the train entered a tunnel. First man: Did you take a bite of your banana? Second man: No. First man: Well, don't. I did and went blind!

einn hræðilegur (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 23 árum, 12 mánuðum
The Small Head A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, “You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?” The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times. “One day,” he begins, “I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting...

Topp 10 (3 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 24 árum
TOPP TÍU LISTINN yfir það sem konur myndu gera ef þær væru með typpi í einn dag: 10. Fá stöðuhækkun. 9. Fá blowjob. 8. Skilja hvað er svona áríðandi við að fá úr honum. 7. Pissa standandi og halda uppi samræðum við aðra karlmenn á meðan. 6. Uppgötva af hverju bunan lendir stundum fram hjá. 5. Fara að sofa strax eftir kynlíf í stað þess að ræða sambandið. 4. Klóra sér í kynfærunum á almannafæri án þess að hafa áhyggjur af því hvort einhver taki eftir því. 3. Hoppa upp og niður með standpínu...

aulabrandari (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 24 árum
A man wakes up in a hospital bed after a terrible accident and cries - “DOC, DOC…I can't feel my legs, I can't feel my legs!!! ”Well of course you can't silly!“, replies the Doc… ”I've cut off both of your arms."

nýjar merkingar orða (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 24 árum
Flashlight… A case for holding dead batteries. Husband… Proof that women have a sense of humor. Mother… A travel agent for guilt trips. Teacher… A person who knows things you could care less about. Death… Life's way of telling you that you're fired. Bacteria… The only culture some people have. Happiness… You're mother-in-law's picture on a milk carton. Bigamy… One wife too many. Monogamy… same thing. Dime… A Dollar with all the taxes taken out. A.A.A.A.A… An organization for drunks who...

blonda (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 24 árum
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all...

Dumb Wives (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 24 árum
Three guys were sitting in a bar. The first guy said, “My wife is so dumb, she carries a garage-door clicker in her car and we don't even have an automatic garage door.” The second guy said, “My wife is so dumb, she has a cellular phone antenna on her car and she doesn't even have a cellular phone.” “The third guy said, ”My wife is so dumb, she carries a purseful of rubbers, and she doesn't even have a cock."

50 Years Of Marriage (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 24 árum
Well there was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table that morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, “Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years.” “Yeah”, she replied, “Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.” “I know”, the old man said, “We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago.” “Well”, Granny snickered, “What do you say…should we?” Whereupon the two stripped to...

missioner (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 24 árum
A missionary gets sent into the deepest darkest Africa, and goes to live with a tribe there. He spends years with the people, teaching them to read, write, and the good Christian ways of the white man. One thing that he particularly stresses is the evil of sexual sin. Thou must not commit adultery or fornication!!! One day, the wife of one of the tribes noblemen gave birth to a white child. The village is shocked, and the chief is then sent by his people to talk with the missionary. \“You...

perfume (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 24 árum
The clerk showed the guy the store's most expensive perfume. “This is called ‘Perhaps’,” said the sales clerk. “It's $285 per ounce.” “Listen,” the guy shot back, “for $285 an ounce, I don't want something called ‘Perhaps’, I want something called, ”You Can Bet Your Happy ASS You'll Get Some!"

Companionship (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 24 árum
A businessman checks into a very fancy hotel and tells the desk clerk that he has no meetings today and would like some “companionship”, price is no object. The desk clerk says that he understands and someone will be at his door in ten minutes. Ten minutes later there is a knock on the man's door. He opens it and sees the most beautiful woman that he has ever seen in his life. He tells her, “I'm in no hurry today, let's go real slow. What do you get for a hand-job?” She says, “$1000.” He...

al gore (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 24 árum
While campaigning, Al Gore was walking thru a small town when he came upon a group of about a dozen young boys standing around a dog. Concerned that the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked, “What are you boys doing with that dog?” One of the boys replied, “This dog is a neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog.” Of course, the vice-president was taken...

skondinn (2 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 24 árum
A nun was walking in the convent when one of the Fathers noticed she was gaining a little weight. “Gaining a little weight are we sister Susan?”, he asked. “Oh no, Father. Just a little gas.” Sister Susan explained, matter-of-factly. A month or so later the Father noticed that she had gained even more weight. “Gaining some weight are we Sister Susan?”, he asked again. “Oh no, Father. Just a little gas.” She replied again. A few months later the Father noticed Sister Susan pushing a baby...

blómasending (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 24 árum
(NOTE: This is a supposedly true story). A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. The flowers arrived at the new business sight and the owner read the card: “Rest in Peace.” The owner was very angry, to say the least, and called to complain.“ Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, and sorry you were offended,” said the florist. “But even worse, somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note...

máltíð (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 24 árum
A Jewish family invited their Redneck neighbors over for holiday dinner. The first course was set in front of them and the Jewish couple announced, “This is soup made with matzoh balls.” On seeing the 2 large matzoh balls in the soup, the redneck man was hesitant to taste this strange looking brew. Gently, the Jewish couple urged him to, “Just have a taste. If you don't like it, you don't have to finish it.” Finally he agrees. He digs his spoon in, first picking up a small piece of matzoh...

smá röksemi (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 24 árum
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her...

leiðbeiningar (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 24 árum
1. If you're bidding on a job for UPS, don't send your bid by FedEx. 2. If your computer says, “Printer out of Paper,” this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the “OK” button. 3. If you want your refrigerator's ice maker to work, you need to hook it to a water source. Air doesn't make good ice unless it is mixed with water. 4. No matter how much data you add to your laptop, it will not get heavier. 5. A bad place to store your emergency backup diskette is on the underside of...

Rice Krispies (3 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 24 árum
Q: What do Rice Krispies and Monica Lewinsky have in common? A: They both talk after being hit with a white milky substance.

Nun and the Hippie (0 álit)

í Húmor fyrir 24 árum
A hippie gets onto a bus and proceeds to sit next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts on its way Bob the bus driver says to the hippie, “If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you.” The hippie says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun...
Hugi notar vefkökur til að bæta notendaupplifun á vefsíðunni og greina umferð um hana. Einnig hefur Hugi uppfært persónuverndarstefnu sína. Skoðaðu stefnuna hér..
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