Hérna eru nokkrir brandarar sem ég fann á netinu:

A female computer consultant was helping a smug male set up his computer.
She asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with. Wanting to embarrass her, he told her to enter “penis”.
Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password.
She almost died laughing at the computer's response: PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH.

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Little Johnny watched the science teacher start the experiment with the worms.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.
After one day, these were the results:

The first worm in alcohol - dead.
Second worm in cigarette smoke - dead.
Third worm in sperm - dead.
Fourth worm in soil - alive.
So the Science teacher asked the class - “What can you learn from this experiment.”

Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said, “As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you wont have worms.
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You and your friend are walking along a road and you see a lamp on the ground. You pick it up and a genie comes out. He says, ”I will grant you three wishes, but whatever you wish for your friend gets twice as much as you.“

You say ”OK“ and your first wish is for $10,000,000.

The genie says, ”You know your friend is gonna get twice as much?“

You say ”I know.“ Your next wish is for a 50,000 ft. yacht.

The genie says ”You know your friend is gonna get twice as much?“

You say ”I know.“ Your last wish is for getting beaten half to death and the genie says, ”You know your friend's gonna get twice as much as you?“

You say ”I know."

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Já þá er það komið og þakka ykkur fyrir að eyða tíma í að lesa þetta (: