>Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married The ceremony was
>rubbish but the Reception was Brilliant.
>——————————————————————–
>Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
>Doc says “I'll give you some cream to put on it.”
>——————————————————————–
>“Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home.”
>“That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. ”
>“Is it common? ”
>“It's not unusual.”
>——————————————————————–
>A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only clingfilm for shorts.
>The shrink says, “Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.”
>——————————————————————–
>A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. “My dog's cross-eyed, is there
>anything you can do for him? ”
>“Well,” says the vet, “let's have a look at him” So he picks the dog
>up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says
>“I'm going to have to put him down.”
>“What? Because he's cross-eyed? ”
>“No, because he's really heavy”
>
>———————————————————————
>Guy goes into the doctor's.
>“Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside
>”How's that?“
>”Don't you start“
>
>———————————————————————
>”Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's.“
>”Well you can't say fairer than that then“
>
>———————————————————————
>Two elephants walk off a cliff……… boom boom!
>
>———————————————————————
>What's brown and sounds like a bell?
>DUNG
>
>———————————————————————
>What do you call a fish with no eyes?
>A fsh.
>
>———————————————————————
>So I went to the dentist.
>He said ”Say Aaah.“
>I said ”Why?“
>He said ”My dog's died.'“
>——————————————————————–
>”So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said
>'Who's speaking please?'
>And a voice said ‘You are.’“
>
>———————————————————————
>”So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said ‘Is that the local
>swimming baths?’
>He said ‘It depends where you’re calling from.'“
>
>———————————————————————
>”So I rang up a local building firm, I said ‘I want a skip outside my
>house.’
>He said ‘I’m not stopping you.'
>
>———————————————————————
>Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people
>in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or
my
>
>older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's
>Colin.
>
>———————————————————————
>So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up,And he
said
>
>'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time
and
>
>said “You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again.
>He rang up a third time and said ‘You’re managing director.' And I went
into
>a tree.
>And a policeman came up and said ‘What happened to you?’
>And I said ‘I careered off the road.
>
>———————————————————————
>Now, most dentist’s chairs go up and down, don't they?
>The one I was in went back and forwards.
>I thought ‘This is unusual’.
>And the dentist said to me
>'Mr Cooper, get out of the filing cabinet.'
>
>———————————————————————
>So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
>”Can you give me a lift?“
>I said ”Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'
>
>———————————————————————
>Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other “your round.”
>The other one says “so are you, you fat bast**d!”
>
>———————————————————————
>Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other “Does this taste funny
>to you?”
>——————————————————————-
>Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the
other
>
>was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
>
>———————————————————————
>A man walked into the doctors, The doctor said “ I haven't seen you in a
>long time” The man replied “I know I've been ill”
>
>———————————————————————
>A man walked into the doctors, he said “I've hurt my arm in several places”
>The doctor said “well don't go there any more”
>
>———————————————————————
>I had a ploughman's lunch the other day.
>He wasn't very happy.
>
>———————————————————————
>My dog was barking at everyone the other day.
>Still, what can you expect from a cross-breed.
>——————————————————————–
>I was driving down the motorway with my bird the other day when we both got
>a bit frisky and decided to do something about it So we decided we'd take
>the next exit, but it was a turn-off.
>
>———————————————————————
>I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find
>any.
>
>———————————————————————
>I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p month for the
>next 2 years.
Michael


Kveðja, sopranos<br><br>Mnsið mitt er Bjossi3@hotmail.com